Currently holidaying in Uruguay, Man United’s Zorro-a-like Edinson Cavani is threatening to stay in his homeland INDEFINITELY if Cristiano Ronaldo takes his number 7 shirt, Paddy Power News understands.
The swashbuckling centre-forward has been on leave for the opening weeks of the season and was set to miss even more games due to international football commitments – as well as just being sick of Manchester.
Now, we may never see the 34-year-old in a United shirt again as he’s so p*ssed off that Cristiano Ronaldo’s planning to return to Old Trafford and his number 7 shirt.
“You’d think forcing a lad to listen to Ole’s ’99 stories every day would be bad enough, but then you take his shirt off him?!” our South American correspondent confirmed.
“He hasn’t been this insulted since Neymar’s da singed his eyebrows lighting a fart in the PSG dressing room after they beat OSC Le Merde in the French League Cup final on penalties.”
With Uruguay set to play a series of World Cup qualifiers and Covid isolation rules still in place for those travelling there, Cavani’s next expected appearance for United was due to be in February 2022 anyway.
Now, United may never see him in red again as club legend Ronaldo has demanded the number 7 shirt be returned to him as part of a deal to rejoin the Red Devils.
“Eric Cantona, David Beckham, Memphis Depay – all the greats have worn it,” a source close to the Ronaldo camp told us.
“Really, he was disappointed the club didn’t retire it when he left in 2009 – Birmingham retired Jude Bellingham’s after 20 games! Look at all CR7 did for United.
“They should’ve named a stand after him at least.”
“And a street. And maybe a few schools, the local electoral district… and probably the club too, to be honest. United are getting off lightly.”
They aren’t when it comes to Ronaldo’s wages though, with the forward set to pocket a cool £480,000 per week as part of the deal.
“We call it ‘The Alexis’,” an Old Trafford insider explained when asked about the deal.
“A panicky deal for a player we don’t really need just to stop City signing him and at wages which we’ll still have to pay in a year when he f**ks off to Inter for nothing.”
Though some other United players are said to be delighted with the latest arrival.
“Mino [Raiola]’s already been in touch with the club about a new deal for Pogba.
“If they’re played this easily by City and Mendes, getting a new contract for Paul should be easy,” our source said.
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