Man United fans having whip round to build Lingard statue so they can vandalise it

Vandals recently toppled statues erected in honour of Zlatan and Alexis in their native countries. Now, United supporters are keen to jump on the bandwagon.

Jesse Lingard Man United

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Following the recent spate of footballer’s statues being vandalised, it would appear that Manchester United supporters are eager to get in on the act.

In recent days, vandals toppled statues erected in honour of Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Alex Sanchez in their native countries. And now, United fans are keen to jump on the bandwagon by building a statue of midfielder Jesse Lingard just so they can tear it down again in anger.

Supporters got the ball rolling this morning when they set up a JustGiving page in an attempt to raise the necessary funds to complete their mission.

However, after an initial flurry of donations, the total raised stood at only £8.19 by 1300BST. It looked as though the project was destined for failure until a donation of £75,000 was made by a mystery benefactor with the username SlabHead93.

Twitter went into meltdown as football fans across the globe speculated who the mystery man was, with many believing it to be none other than Manchester United skipper Harry Maguire. The England defender was at the centre of a tug of war between United and City during the summer. In the end, United prevailed when City baulked at the £80M price tag Leicester slapped on Maguire’s head. It remains unknown how much the Foxes valued the rest of his body at.

It’s rumoured Maguire blames Lingard for United’s shock defeat to Watford when the £100,000-per-week Instagrammer opted to chip Ben Foster when put through one-on-one by Martial, only to see his shot sail over the bar. It’s understood that work on the statue outside Old Trafford will begin tomorrow morning after fans finally agreed on a pose for the 27-year-old’s sculpture.

‘It was a tough call’, revealed Andy Gallagher of the Manchester United Supporters Trust. ‘Some suggested that infuriating little jig he did after scoring against Arsenal last year. Others thought the Fornite inspired celebration for his England World Cup goal was a good shout’.

‘But in the end, I think it’s only fitting that Jesse’s statue should be Dabbing’, said Gallagher.

When the news broke that enough money had been raised to build the statue, United fans posted pictures of the various power tools they were going to use to cut the effigy down.

Meanwhile, an urgent appeal was launched on Arsenal TV to raise funds for a statue of Granit Xhaka.

Jesse Lingard is 7/2 to sign for West Ham before 3 February 2020