Infantino moves 2026 World Cup to North Korea after Qatar success

More blue-sky thinking from FIFA

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FIFA are switching the 2026 World Cup to North Korea following the success of the Qatar finals, it has emerged.

Canada, Mexico and the United States were originally chosen to host the tournament, but a change of plan will see the 23rd World Cup contested in East Asian nuclear state instead.

It continues FIFA’s policy of staging the World Cup in desolate territories with appalling human rights records that have never hosted the event before. 

Paddy Power News understands subsequent World Cups are likely to be staged in places such as Iran, Equatorial Guinea and the desert planet of Tatooine.

‘We’re delighted to be bringing the World Cup to the home of football, North Korea’, FIFA president Gianni Infantino told us.

‘This is FIFA’s first World Cup to be staged in an open-air labour camp but hopefully not the last’.

‘Although there were compelling proposals from Eritrea and Turkmenistan, North Korea demonstrated they had the right infrastructure and enough bulging brown envelopes to get their bid over the line’.

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The news was welcomed by Kim Jong-un who named himself in North Korea’s 25-man squad for the finals.

‘I am declaring myself available for selection’, he said during a joint-press conference with national team boss Yun Jong-su who had a pistol against his back.

‘Just because I am the Supreme Leader of our Party, State and Armed Forces; the only and unique successor and leader of the Juche Revolution and a symbol of the mightiness of our country, doesn’t mean I’m looking any preferential from the gaffer. I’m just one the lads’, he added.

Meanwhile, with none of the matches being televised and all the world’s media barred, FIFA confirmed World Cup 2026 score updates will be provided by North Korea’s state-owned KCTV.

‘And the latest from the Yanggakdo Stadium. North Korea 6-0 Brazil. 44-yr-old Kim Jong-un with a double-hattrick for the hosts’, said a leaked pre-recorded match report.

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