This week’s Scottish football round-up starts with a debate – or at least it was going to until Livingston decided to end the argument in style on Saturday. Those pesky Lions…
The SPFL action started with a bit of a mad one on Friday night, as Morton came from two down to defeat Partick Thistle 3-2.
Every goal was met with further excitement from the Morton Twitter admin as “BELTER” was followed by “YA ABSOLUTE BEAUTY”, which itself was topped by “YA DANCER! YA ABSOLUTE DANCER!”…
81' YA DANCER! YA ABSOLUTE DANCER! 3-2 MORTON YASSSSSS!
— Greenock Morton (@Morton_FC) August 23, 2019
This briefly led to a discussion on which words best describe the momentous occasion when the ball hits the net.
There were many worthy contenders – as we’ve not got VAR forcing us to hold back the emotion – but fast forward 24 hours and, as Livi went 4-1 up away to Ross County, this happened…
JACK STOBBS JUST THUNDER TWATTED A ROCKET STRAIGHT INTO THE TOP POKIE!
GET THAT PICKED RIGHT OUT!!!!!
— Livingston FC (@LiviFCOfficial) August 24, 2019
If “THUNDER TWATTED A ROCKET” isn’t in the top 10 goal descriptions of all time, then the world is broken beyond repair. Sheer poetic brilliance.
Here it is if you want to see it for yourself, watch it here.
Motherwell ran out 3-1 winners over Hamilton in the first proper derby of the season, and an unfortunate red card for Accies led to the season’s first dad joke. Horrendous, yes, but you can’t help but laugh…
Of course they’re losing, their whole team has been sent off! pic.twitter.com/z3TZHcdJhi
— Shutts (@Shuttsapalooza) August 24, 2019
Life’s not really going all that well in Edinburgh as both men in charge at the two big clubs have taken a page from the ‘how not to treat supporters’ book.
Hibs manager Paul Heckingbottom blamed fans for St Johnstone’s equaliser as the Leith side were held at home, before Hearts’ Craig Levein said he was fed up of “social media boo boys”. It’s nice to see that, even though they’re both shite on the park, the two rivals are staying competitive off the park. Good lads.
Hearts come out on top of this one though, as they find themselves joint bottom of the pile after three games. Fans aren’t amused, but Ann Budge this week told press she’s happy with Craig Levein’s efforts.
It was a video interview, meaning the “boo boys” had some enjoyable new material…
— euan (@euan_1874) August 25, 2019
As Glasgow City welcomed Dundee City to the west for an SSE Scottish Women’s Cup tie on Sunday, they tweeted asking which City was better. Now, that’s a tough question to answer.
Drunken students can find many a great night in Dundee and they’ve done a lot to rejuvenate the waterfront there. Glasgow’s got funnier people, more historical buildings and a statue with a traffic cone on its head.
It’s a difficult call to make.
Anyway, it turns out they were on about the football teams, and that was a lot easier to answer….
FULL TIME | Glasgow City progress to the quarter-finals of the SSE Scottish Cup! The draw will take place on Wednesday… pic.twitter.com/fZJtPg4mCn
— Glasgow City FC ?? (@GlasgowCityFC) August 25, 2019
Deadline day edges ever closer in Scotland and Rangers fans continue to cling on to the smallest slither of hope that Ryan Kent will return.
Some take to social media to beg him, some see him punching Scott Brown in their dreams every night (who can blame them – it was their finest moment since 2012), and some are now convinced he works in what appears to be Paisley’s Pure Gym…
Ryan Kent spotted in pure gym in Glasgow ? pic.twitter.com/fiG1g4Lk9C
— Rangers Cartel (@RangersCartel) August 21, 2019
Not many people were having it, seeing as how the man in the photo is wearing an employee trackie, but why not let them dream? Dreams do come true Rangers, keep believing.
We’re a few weeks into 19/20 now, meaning we start to see who has done well over the summer and who better pull their finger out before the transfer window closes.
Armed with this knowledge, here’s this week’s treble:
* All odds correct at time of posting.