Alexis Sanchez has dragged Arsenal fans through the wringer over the past few months, one minute seeming likely to stay at the Emirates, and the next coming down with a “flu” that conveniently prevented him from training.
Whether or not he actually ends up going, it’s a stressful time for Gooners.
Some of whom have been at pains to point out that, in fact, they’re not particularly bothered that their best player could be about to abandon them.
Of course, there’s no suggestion that these people are simply talking through their arses and are spending their evenings curled up in a ball, spilling litres of tears over a framed portrait of the Chilean wizard and sending dozens of snail-mail letters to Arsenal begging the club to keep him in London.
No, these are people who truly believe that their team would be better off without one of the world’s finest players. These are people who genuinely trust in the likes of Danny Welbeck and Theo Walcott to make up for the Sanchez-shaped hole that could soon open up in Arsenal’s lineup.
Can we let @Alexis_Sanchez go already? Tbh I'm over and fed up of all these antics. Let the man go. 👐
— Mr. Ike Niwa ™ ☜ (@IkeC4pt4in) August 2, 2017
Ike is well and truly “over it”. In the same way that you’re over that ex-girlfriend you’ve been thinking about constantly for the past three years since the breakup and who you cry yourself to sleep thinking about.
Alexis is leaving and I don't really care.
— 🦁Invincible (@LaLaLacazette) March 5, 2017
Straight to the point, this Tweep has already embraced the arrival of Alexandre Lacazette, the man whom absolutely is describing as “the new Alexis”.
I really don't care that Alexis is leaving. Never felt attached to him. Will be sad to see Wenger and Özil go though
— Alex (@UnPropheteEN) March 5, 2017
In fairness, it’s easy not to feel attached to the man who’s been your team’s best player for the past two seasons.
Literally don't care at all that Alexis is leaving lmfao
— J (@TheOxDrive) May 21, 2017
Methinks. The. Lady/Gentleman. Doth. Protest. Too. Much.
I don't care if Alexis leaves really, we've lost bigger, more special players than him before. The prospect of him leaving doesn't hurt
— BOB (@bobviousIy) May 30, 2017
Bob, poor soul, has clearly been gravely hurt by the loss of past loves. As a result he’s been afraid to commit, to truly give all of himself to Alexis. But Bob, it’s ok, there are plenty more world-class strikers in the sea.
I really don't care about Alexis leaving, use the money to pay for a player who actually wants to be at Arsenal
— Jacob (@CoqBlocker) July 21, 2017
How does the song go?
Don’t, don’t you want me? You know I can’t accept it when you say that you don’t need the current wage-packet our club is giving you and want to leave in order to win major trophies.
And, last but not least, the poor deluded soul who appears to believe that Arsenal would be better off with Marouane Chamakh and Nicklas Bendtner up top:
But I don't particularly care about Alexis leaving. Team work best individuality. Even Chamahk/Bendtner got us Chanpions League football.
— Gil (@gilnanag) July 23, 2017
Heartbreaking stuff, really.