Since his expensive return to English football at the start of August, Manchester United midfielder Paul Pogba has faced constant criticism for his performances mainly due to his over-inflated £90m fee.
Two goals in Europa League last week had United supporters believing he might just be worth the money, but it seems that was a false dawn after another awful outing against Chelsea on Super Sunday.
To be fair to the United number six, Pogba didn’t choose how much he was bought for. However, football fans around the world have been venting about what a waste of money the transfer has been.
So what else could you bought with the £90m United reportedly handed to Juventus for the Frenchman?
We’ve had a look, and here’s six items we think the dosh would have been better spent on.
Before we get too deep, have a quick play with this and get yourself in the mood!
1. A team of Bebé’s (plus a bonus sub)
Widely seen as United’s worst ever signing (until Pogba perhaps), Portuguese forward Bebé cost £7.4m from Vitória de Guimarães despite the fact Sir Alex had never seen him play.
Needless to say once he got Old Trafford they quickly realised they’d bought a bit of a turkey and Bebé only managed a total of seven appearances in the four seasons he wasted United’s time. When you factor in his wages, Bebé reported cost The Reds £165,000 per MINUTE he was on the field of play.
So using Pogba’s fee, you could have bought 12 Bebé’s for that £90m!
VINE: Too late for a call-up? Bebe has done another goal https://t.co/ByFsIZXKCI
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) March 29, 2014
2. 72,000 hours of Steve Claridge as an after-dinner speaker
Claridge has had nearly more clubs (21) than Pogba has had silly haircuts and he’s available in an after-dinner capacity for between £1,250 to £2,500 per session. What a bargain!
Taking the lower figure that means for the £90m spent on Pogba, you could have had the Football League pundit speak for about 72,000 hours. That’s 3,000 days you could have had the former Leicester striker for, or a whopping 8.2 years to break it down even further.
To be honest, he’d be worth it to hear these kind of views!
The Russian women athletes might have a pair of bollocks but the IOC certainly hasn’t!
— Steve Claridge (@SteveClaridge) July 24, 2016
3. Over 3.6m acres of Mars
Let’s face it, in 50 years time you could be sitting on a gold mine as Mars real estate should be booming on the property market.
Using the website buymars.com, an acre of the Red planet comes in at a surprising cheap £24.50 (what an investment).
So that means with the Pogba money you can purchase 3,679,469 acres of Martian land. That’s still only 0.0103% of the surface area of Mars, but you’d have yourself a quiet little corner.
You could even find a few footballs Pogba has sent into orbit with his attempts on goal this season up there!
4. Close to 26.5m blank VHS tapes
Sadly, it looks like we’ve seen the last of the classic VHS player (a crying shame), as they are now very much a collector’s item.
Gone are the days where we used to illegally record Wrestlemania and try to sell it off to the highest bidder amongst our geeky mates. Damn Sky Plus!
According to Amazon, you can now pick up a blank VHS recording tape for a measly £3.42, which using the Pogba ratio could see you stocking your garage with 26,315,790 blank tapes and we wouldn’t use one of them to record a Pogba game this season…
5. 4.6m birthday messages from Wagner
Wagner is best remembered for somehow lasting eight weeks on the 2010 X Factor (yes, he was a Louis Walsh act), despite performances flatter than Pogba’s United ones.
His mullet, along with his chest exposing shirts endeared him to an audience of a certain generation in Britain, a habit (unfortunately) he still has to this day!
He’s now offering the public the pleasure of a recording of him signing ‘happy birthday’ to them for a rock-bottom £19.50. That’s 4,615,384 messages in Pogba money and we think it would be well bloody spent!
6. Piece together 4.5m jigsaws of former Man United Finance Director Nick Humby
This is probably our favourite item on the list!
Humby served at Old Trafford from 2002 to 2007 and you can unbelievably still buy a stunning 300-piece jigsaw featuring him at work in his office on Amazon for just £19.99. That equates to 4,502,251 puzzles spending what Humby’s former employers used on Mr Pogba.
Possibly the best part of the listing comes in the related items! Apparently, you can also purchase a Pam St Clement canvas clock for £11.50 – what a steal!