Dom Gall: We pride ourselves in hating each other in Scotland

Our Scottish football nut has had a look at the good, the bad and the ugly north of the border and the current state of play is weirdly wonderful.

This week, as we enter the final month of fixtures, I’m going to take a look at the good, the bad and the ugly of Scottish football.

Starting with the good, the relegation battle in the Championship is going to provide some spectacular entertainment for the neutral.

With just four points separating 6th from the dreaded 10th, we’ve got no fewer than five clubs( and sets of fans) absolutely shitting themselves.

It’s going to go down to the wire and I for one cannot wait.

While they all fight for survival, their replacement has already been confirmed. Dick Campbell’s Arbroath have just secured the League One title, earning their second promotion in just three years.

Dick is an excellent man – with an excellent hat – and is exactly the type of manager you want in your dugout. My reasoning for this could go on all day, but I’ll just stick with the fact that he spent 25% of this season in the stand due to his methods of questioning referees.

Moving onto the bad now and we find ourselves discussing Albion Rovers. Up until a month or so ago, they were dead and buried, but a wee run of wins has lifted them to the dizzy heights of 9th in League Two.

Anyway, the particular point I wish to highlight is that their league top goalscorer is, in fact, Clyde’s ineligible player. This came about after they were awarded a 3-0 win back in March, and was brilliantly highlighted by Peterhead in their pre-match infographic on Saturday. Bravo.

Stirling University. They’ve six teams and following a trial in 2014 I was rudely informed I was too shite for any of them. I can only look at it as their loss as I did score a goal in that trial, but I promise I’m over it.

My flatmate also rattled the bar from 40 yards before subbing himself off to go for a fag. It really makes you wonder just how good that team could’ve been if we were in the starting XI together…

Anyway, in hindsight, I’m glad I was pied, as I don’t think my massive head would have suited the required SUFC haircut. Their Twitter shared an image of the go-to trim for the lads, which makes me forever grateful for avoiding that barber during my time at uni. They didn’t even mention the sale on jackets too.

Lastly, we have the ugly. In Scotland, we pride ourselves on hating each other.

We might take it too far sometimes (we’re looking at you Premiership teams), but we all take comfort in knowing we’ll never be tourist clubs like the EPL – with more phones than limbs to be seen in celebration photos.

This last week, Ross County ruined it for all of us when they wished rivals Inverness well in their Scottish Cup semi-final. None of that pish lads, you should be hoping for a 9-0 pumping and seven red cards. Embarrassing behaviour.

We’ve had the sad news that a deer died while attending Fort William’s Claggan Park.

Now, I’m not one to start conspiracy theories, but given that last week fellow Highland League side Nairn County had their game delayed by deer shit, I can’t help but question whether this may have actually been cold-blooded murder?

I guess we’ll never know. Anyway, to echo the sentiments of one Facebook user, my condolences are with the family. No deer should ever attend a game and not get home.

To finish off, this week’s Scottish treble comes in 25/1:

Motherwell – 11/10
Alloa – 10/3
East Fife – 15/8

Find the latest football odds over at paddypower.com

*All odds correct at time of posting.