This week and beyond is going to see the highest number of people “working” from home in UK history, as the government implores the public to stay put amid the growing coronavirus crisis.
For those who are already familiar with being hunched over your laptop in your pyjamas all day, this will be water off a fluey duck’s back. For many others, however, undertaking your 9 to 5 in the comfort of your own home will be an entirely new experience.
With this in mind, here’s a look at some of the major benefits you need to make the most of whilst you can…
1. Hitting the snooze button
Early on in the work from home cycle you will tell yourself you will keep the same “routine” of an early alarm so that you can use the extra time productively, such as going for a refreshing morning run. But deep down you really know that’s nonsense.
Rather than the usual existential dread that hearing your weekday alarm invokes, working from home provides you with the comfort zone to see what that big round snooze button does – without the risk of missing your train to work.
That smug feeling you get when you can doze off for a few more minutes in the knowledge that others may be dragging themselves to the station is the perfect way to start your day off right.
2. Embracing a fast and loose dress code
Your home, your rules – and that extends to your new work dress code. Fancy working through those spreadsheets in your Superman pyjamas? No problem! Want to tackle that email backlog in the 1994/95 Ajax home shirt? Go for it! So long as you remember to have a shirt within grabbing distance for when the boss suddenly video calls you, you’re good to go.
Although you also have the option to forgo your usual morning shower, we’d strongly encourage you to keep that tradition. Your nostrils will thank you for it.
3. Watching sport
Trying to watch sport on the sly at your normal office desk isn’t easy; it takes a while to master alt-tabbing between the stream and a pointless spreadsheet when your manager wanders past your screen.
Such issues are non-existent indoors, allowing you to watch whatever takes your sporting fancy whilst you “work hard”.
Although there is currently a slight issue with this otherwise faultless plan…
Sky have said that they have no plans to reduce subscription fees, as they have managed to fill the void left by lack of Football with some world-class sporting action. pic.twitter.com/bzniOaFyMO
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) March 16, 2020
Looks like you’ll have to make do with random goal compilations on YouTube set to some unnecessarily loud (and sh*t) house music instead. Still, it beats having to endure listening to Chris from HR bang on about the 5km he ran the night before
4. Skipping the tea run
There is no worse type of office worker than the individual who sneaks off to make their own brew without asking anyone else if they fancy one. But be honest: when you do ask colleagues it’s always a sake when a few people raise their hand to take you up on your generous offer. Running such a gauntlet can put you off going for a caffeine boost altogether.
A key benefit to working from home is that at the very nanosecond your brain begins to fire the “fancy a tea?” neurons you can meander down to the kitchen and flick the kettle on guilt-free. Unless you live with someone else, in which case don’t be such a rude b*stard.
5. Getting takeaways for lunch
Have you ever seriously considered getting Uber Eats to bring you McDonald’s or KFC directly to your desk, only to eventually opt against it for fear of being “that guy” in the office?
Yeah, us too. Daily.
Fortunately, there is no such social shaming going down at your own personal HQ, so you are free to get stuck into Big Macs and Zinger Towers aplenty. Just make sure you remember to hide all the evidence before the missus gets home…
6. Saying your internet is down
“Hello, boss? Yeah, you’re not going to believe this but my BT broadband is down. They’re sending engineers out to the exchange to check it out.”
“That’s weird, I only live a few roads away from you and mine is fine.”
“How strange! It must be something to do with everyone working from home overloading the system?”
“Hmmm, is that Love Is Blind on Netflix I can hear you watching?”
“Errrrrr… the engineers are here, gotta go!”
7. Not chipping in for someone’s birthday
We’ve all encountered that dreaded moment in the workplace, when Sue from accounts pops over to your desk clasping a crisp new envelope. Oh yes, the perennial p*sstake that is the office whip round for someone’s birthday. Your heart drops quicker than you can say “tenner in an envelope”. This, however, becomes an immediately forgotten worry thanks to the joys of working from home.
Of course, if it’s actually your birthday coming up whilst you’re locked away in isolation, you can easily recreate and improve the home reenactment. Simply take £40 out of your wallet, put it immediately back in, then treat yourself to an ice cold beer for being such a generous sod.
Not bad this whole working from home malarkey, eh?