French left-back Lucas Digne’s Booker Prize-nominated Instagram post about his Everton exit is set for a limited edition hardback release, Paddy Power News can reveal.
The masterpiece entitled ‘I Did Not Expect It to End This Way’ will be released next month amid critical acclaim.
Digne’s longwinded Insta rant details his acrimonious departure from Goodison Park which he eloquently describes as the ‘destruction of a beautiful love affair’.
In the post, the defender passive-aggressively identifies new Everton boss Rafa Benitez as the man who broke his heart.
‘It’s the classic tale of man meets club; man falls in love with club; club hires former Liverpool boss who drops man and sells him to former Liverpool player; man takes to Insta to bitch about it’, raved esteemed literary critic James Wood.
‘Digne’s latest work may just pip ‘The Chronicles of Bruno Fernandes’ to this year’s Booker Prize’, he added.
The 28-year-old was officially unveiled as an Aston Villa player this morning and fielded some questions alongside new boss Steven Gerrard.
‘Feel like pure sh*t, just want Everton back’, a sobbing Digne told a Paddy Power News reporter when asked if he was happy to be a Villa player.
‘Every tw*t has a Jack Grealish haircut and they all sound like Jasper Carrott. Please, I’m begging you, let me go back to Merseyside’.
Meanwhile, Gerrard was full of praise for his new signing, Philippe Coutinho.
‘Yeah, Digne isn’t a bad player. But what about Coutinho though? He’s a smasher! Did you know we used to play together at Liverpool?’
‘We almost won the league one year, you know? We were three points clear with a couple of games to go and then… it doesn’t matter what happened then’, sulked the former Liverpool skipper.
Both Digne and Coutinho are in line to make their debuts in Villa’s win over Manchester United this Saturday.
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news, and that’s the truth – honest*
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