Exclusive: UEFA reveal both Liverpool and Spurs must start final down 3-0

After their respective Champions League semi-final miracle comebacks, this will seem like a piece of cake for them surely!


UEFA have officially decreed that both this year’s Champions League finalists will go into the game already 3-0 down, it has emerged.

After several enthralling games during the knockout stages of this year’s competition when teams overcame three-goal deficits, European football’s governing body has stepped in to capitalise.

Football fans across the globe have welcomed the move after Spurs’ heroics against Ajax on Wednesday night, which some experts are describing as ‘the best footballing comeback in over 24 hours’.

While supporters of Liverpool and Spurs claim their semi-final encounters were two of the greatest games of football they’ve ever pi**ed and s**t themselves over.

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Officials at both clubs were informed of UEFA’s decision this morning ahead of the showpiece game in Madrid on June 1st.

‘What Spurs, Liverpool and even lowly Man United have taught us this year, is unless your side overturns a seemingly impossible scoreline, that match will forever be deemed sh**e’, explained UEFA President Aleksander Čeferin.

‘Fans don’t wanna see their side play for a 0-0 draw away from home anymore.’

They want a bloody good drubbing. 3-0, maybe even 4-0 if you’re a right sick b**tard.

‘Then they can enjoy a complete emotional breakdown while they witness their side snatch an unlikely victory from the grizzly jaws of defeat’.

‘I mean, have you even really watched a Champions League game these days unless your underpants are smeared in every DNA source known to man?’, quizzed the Slovenian.

After hearing the news, BT Sport announced they’ll be offering all new and existing customers complimentary defibrillators ahead of the glitzy final at the Wanda Metropolitano Stadium in Madrid.

Meanwhile, UEFA have confirmed that both Liverpool and Spurs supporters will be allocated six tickets each for the game.

Unfortunately, those tickets have already been snapped up by touts and are currently for sale on Viagogo for as little as £50,000 each.

Aleksander Čeferin revealed the remaining 65,000 tickets will to ‘friends of UEFA’, which include the Vatican, Kim Jong Un and the surviving relatives of Saddam Hussein.

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