It was Scottish Cup weekend in the self-proclaimed greatest footballing country on earth.
This weekend’s action has given Scotland some pretty good content to back that claim: Taps aff, players dropping truth-bombs, the Scottish Messi and the Edinburgh Derby all within 48 hours.
The action kicked off on Friday night as Kelty Hearts hosted Auchinleck Talbot, with the away side walking away 3-0 winners. Now, it’s funny that Barry Ferguson got beat, but the scenes in the away end were much funnier.
Rule one of away days? Introduce yourself to MD2020 slowly, don’t try and down a bottle on your first go. Thankfully for us, one fan didn’t listen to that advice…
My dad had his first bottle of mad dog on the way to the football yesterday. The rest is history 😂🐝🐝 pic.twitter.com/Z6wbAvAsLe
— Jordan Drummond (@J_Drummond) September 21, 2019
Sticking with the Scottish Cup and after a game in a normal league, like the English Premiership for example, you’ll find a player tweet some generic shite written by a Press Officer.
See example A provided by Pablo Zabaleta. You’ve just beaten Man Utd, maybe try showing some enthusiasm?
— Pablo Zabaleta (@pablo_zabaleta) September 22, 2019
In Scotland, we pride ourselves on leaving the players to offer their own opinions.
Bonnyrigg Rose made the 350+ mile round trip to Fraserburgh, picking up a 1-0 win and progressing to the Second Round of the Scottish Cup.
We now turn to Bonnyrigg’s Dean Brett for his thoughts on the game…
— Dean Brett (@DeanBrett62) September 21, 2019
There you have it. Fraserburgh is lovely but the fans are Tadgers. Wouldn’t get that level of insight from Kyle Walker, would you?
Is Messi the best player in the world? Probably. Is Shaun Rooney the best player in the world? Probably Not.
When an Inverness fan tweeted the club asking for footage with such high claims, we were all expecting great things. Sadly, as you can see, Shaun forgot one key aspect of being an attacker…
To be honest, this is exactly why Scotland can’t compete on the world stage. Inverness won the game 2-0 though, so it didn’t matter for them. Maybe try a 40-yarder next week though? Can’t be any worse.
Talking of 40 yarders, Hibs’ Stevie Mallan thundert**tted a rocket into the top corner for Hibs during Sunday’s derby, although happily for Hibs fans it wasn’t enough as Hearts ran out 2-1 winners.
Things have now gone from bad to worse for Hearts fans as, having started the day bottom of the pile, they somehow managed to win and accidentally prolong Craig Levein’s job. Gutted for them.
It was an incredible occasion at Easter Road, with both sets of fans coming together to sing “sacked in the morning” to both managers simultaneously. Another top-quality advert for our game.
But…. do you want a new manager more than you want to lose to your rivals? Sadly, all supporters just ended up very confused, and no questions were answered…
Life comes at you fast x pic.twitter.com/YrJItRfs8b
— Jamie Jambo (@Jamie_Jambo) September 22, 2019
I for one think they should just swap. If nothing else, we’d all get a good laugh out of it.
Lastly, you’ve got to give credit to Celtic. Despite a tough European fixture on Thursday night and a League game less than 72 hours later, they still managed to find the time to let one of their star men head over to the US and support the ‘Storm Area 51’ movement.
What da fuck is James Forrest doing at Area 51? There's a match on Sunday. pic.twitter.com/FU1ErlUZ1T
— Sean Butler (@seanybhoy617) September 20, 2019
In fairness, Forrest is used to being surrounded by thousands of odd-looking creatures each week, so he’d make a good leader for the troops out in the desert. Follow your dreams, kids.