The omnishambles that is Ole Gunnar Solskjaer being the permanent Manchester United manager lurched to yet another low point at the weekend after they were humbled by the Hammers at the London Stadium.
United’s abysmal form has subsequently seen the Norwegian become one of the hot favourites to become the next gaffer to be unceremoniously handed their P45.
So before Ed Woodward finds himself tapping in the PIN number to the club’s sizeable manager pay-off bank account once again, let’s take a look at the 10 most rib-tickling elements of Ole being at the wheel…
10. The infamous chant
There’s nowhere else we could’ve started. United fans were in their element at the turn of the year, as Ole’s charges ran team after team over. “Ole’s at the wheel” was all you could hear bellowing from the supporters in the stands for weeks on end.
Oh how the tables have turned, though. Now all those people who took the time to film themselves chanting it are hastily deleting their selfie videos from their phone and telling mates they never wanted Ole in the first place. Whoops!
9. Not parking his car in the manager’s space
Back in April it was revealed that despite hilariously signing a three-year contract, Solskjaer refuses to park his car in the manager’s reserved space at the club’s training ground. Why? Because he feels it still belongs to Sir Alex Ferguson – the manager who left over six years ago.
“It just doesn’t feel right parking there,” he’s reported to have told staff. “It’s still the gaffer’s place.”
Good job you won’t even have the option to park there for much longer then, Ole.
8. Their wretched form
In his stint as caretaker manager, Solskjaer led the Red Devils to 14 wins in 19 matches. Incredibly, that was all it took for him to earn the gig full-time back in March. And with the ink still drying on that contract, their form instantly fell off a cliff.
An end of season collapse saw them miss out on a Champions League place. They haven’t won an away league game since February. They have lost 10 of their last 19 games in all competitions. This season they’ve mustered just eight points from six games – the same as Sheffield United and Crystal Palace.
It’s almost as if he’s playing for that payout.
7. This fan getting a little bit carried away
Ole’s at the wheel! Before the away game vs PSG i tweeted that if Man Utd went through I would tattoo Solskjærs face inside a wheel. Well, i’m a man of my words. I went all in. Here’s the result. Enjoy 😂 pic.twitter.com/c7MaIcyNJG
— Tor Henrik Stensland (@Toricharito) May 14, 2019
Is it cheaper to do a cover-up or laser removal? Asking for a friend.
6. How quickly he’s ageing
Even in this short period of time, you can tell how much the pressure of Premier League management is affecting Solskjaer.
During his 11 years as a United player, he earned the nickname “Baby-Faced Assassin”. By the end of his 11 months in charge (it’s definitely heading that way), it’s more likely he’ll be remembered as the “What-the-f*ck-has-happened-to-him-Faced Assassin”.
5. His legacy being tarnished
Returning to a club you’re loved at as a manager is always fraught with risk (as Michael Owen would be happy to tell you all about in regards to Alan Shearer). Solskjaer knew what he was letting himself in for.
Despite his heroics as a player, we live in an era of snap fan judgement these days – and many supporters will be more than happy to slag him off on Twitter or crude fan TV channels. Gotta love modern football eh, Ole?
4. The fact they spent £145m in the summer
The Red Devils were among the biggest spenders this summer, splashing out the thick end of £150m on Daniel James, Aaron Wan-Bissaka and now the world’s most expensive defender, Harry “Slabhead” Maguire.
Even with this mega-investment, Ole somehow finds himself with a forward line that looks as toothless as an OAP boxer who has an irrational aversion to gumshields and dental hygiene. Again: whoops.
3. His own players turning against him
Phil Jones : sacked in the morning
Ed Woodward : we’re on camera, stop
— Garwain (@Garwain) September 22, 2019
Eagle-eyed viewers at the weekend managed to capture the remarkable moment corner specialist Phil Jones appeared to join in with the West Ham fans who were directing “sacked in the morning” chants to his own manager.
“We’re on camera, stop!” Ed Woodward snaps back.
Embarrassing for the club? Quite. Funny for everyone else? Oh yes.
2. Jose sticking the boot in
United looked woeful at the London Stadium, so it was no surprise when Jose Mourinho – the man Solskjaer replaced in the Old Trafford dugout – took the opportunity to gain a bit of verbal revenge.
“We were bad last season but I do not see any improvements, even with three new players,” he stated on Sky Sports. “I like these three players and they are bringing some good quality, but the team I don’t like at all. I’m not surprised by the result and I don’t think Ole can take any positives from the game.”
At least they’ll soon have one more thing in common after both managing a bad team: an extremely healthy bank balance post-sacking.
1. Rio’s “sign the contract” monologue
Man Utd are back alright, Rio. Back to being pointed and laughed at by every other football fan.
All together now: Ole’s at the wheel, tell me how good does it feel…