Following his unveiling as Major League Soccer’s latest superstar recruit, it has been revealed that Lionel Messi joined Inter Miami by mistake.
The Argentinian maestro signed up for the MLS side under the misapprehension that he was dealing with Inter Milan, Paddy Power News understands.
Argentina and Paris Saint-Germain forward Lionel Messi poses on stage after receiving the Best FIFA Mens Player award during the Best FIFA Football Awards 2022 ceremony in Paris on February 27, 2023. (Photo by FRANCK FIFE / AFP) (Photo by FRANCK FIFE/AFP via Getty Images)
Dazzled by scale of the offer for the World Cup winner’s services, his father Jorge reportedly failed to read the full name of the club who offered his son a deal after his PSG contract expired, we were told.
‘Ah, Inter, what a club, what a city, what an incredible number of zeroes on this contract offer!’ Messi senior reportedly said when they were contacted by the Floridian franchise.
‘Forget about living in a desert compound 20-hours a day, we’ve got a genuine offer from a real football club here – imagine how many chances Romelu Lukaku will miss when Messi’s setting them up!’
‘And you can run even less in Serie A and still get away with it,’ he went on. ‘I mean, Chris Smalling looks like Booby Moore, Franz Beckenbauer and Paolo Maldini rolled into one – that’s how sh*t it is.’
Unfortunately, Messi then went on to sign the contract without reading the fine print – or, indeed, the large print where it says “MIAMI” at the top of page one.
‘Leo just scanned the contract – “Inter Mi- I’m sure the rest of this is all in order” he said and signed it without thinking, as he trusts his dad to handle all this stuff, just like his tax affairs,” one source close to the football legend explained.
‘It was kinda like how you just tick the boxes to get the discount online and then get spammed to death for years afterwards – except with hundred of millions of dollars at stake rather than your tolerance for endless texts and emails.’
LUSAIL CITY, QATAR – DECEMBER 18: Lionel Messi celebrates scoring Argentina’s first goal during the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Final match between Argentina and France at Lusail Stadium on December 18, 2022 in Lusail City, Qatar. (Photo by Visionhaus/Getty Images)
It all mean that Messi will now find himself submerged in the swampy depths of Miami rather than basking in the glory of the Italian fashion capital, where the standard of football has been sub-optimal in recent years.
‘Look, they’ve tried everything to get this Miami team of the ground – they’ve had the star owner, David Beckham – the star coach, David Beckham’s mate Phil Neville – and the star player, David Beckham’s mate Phil Neville’s son Harvey – and incredibly, none of it’s worked,’ MLS expert Alexi Loolah told us.
‘Now they’ve finally got a break by accidentally signing the greatest player in the history of the game – they can surely make it to MLS Wildcard Sunday before the multi-ball play-in tournament phase of regular season begins…’ he said before we completely lost interest in his yank bullsh*t.
- WELCOME TO PP NEWS: NEW TO US? CLICK HERE FOR OUR £/€20 SIGN-UP OFFER
However, the ex-Barcelona man is determined to make the most of his new surroundings despite the error.
‘He’s confident he can stroll around MLS pitches just as easily as Ligue 1 or La Liga before,’ one source explained.
‘And there’s no reason it should interfere with his main priority – promoting Saudi Arabian tourism from a beach 5,000 miles away.’
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% nonsense, but you knew that already… didn’t you?
Read More
- Ashley Young declared World Heritage Site by UN
- Kane agrees bratwurst endorsement as Bayern Munich rumours swirl
- Bullseye! Paddy Power to sponsor World Darts Championship at the Ally Pally!
- Lampard ties himself to Chelsea goalpost in protest at Mount sale
- Breaking: Chelsea post ENTIRE SQUAD on Saudi Buy & Sell page
THE PADDY POWER GUIDE TO SAFER GAMBLING – EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW
