Kane agrees bratwurst endorsement as Bayern Munich rumours swirl

Wunderbar!

Harry Kane, 12-22

Tottenham striker Harry Kane has dropped the biggest hint yet that he could be about to join Bayern Munich after announcing a new collaboration with bratwurst.

Following on from weeks of rumours that the England striker could be moving away from the Premier League, Kane’s management team confirmed this mouth-watering partnership between England’s favourite goal-scorer and Germany’s favourite food which has been on the cards since he was smashed at Oktoberfest in 2022.

“Harry has been a fan of bratwurst even since he chomped through seven of them to help sober him up at the Munich beer festival,” said a disgruntled source close to the player.

“Even if he prefers it to hotpot, it doesn’t mean he’s about to join Bayern over United does it?”

“He likes Rammstein more than the Happy Mondays and thinks Berghain put on better DJs than Warehouse Project too, but again, that doesn’t actually mean he is moving to Germany rather than Manchester,” they continued before sticking their head in a bucket of sand.

And the news was met with some scepticism online with numerous Spurs fans trying to convince themselves he’s not leaving.

“Did you know Harry wears Nike Phantom boots? Does this mean he’s into ghosts?” one contributor to the Talking Cockerel podcast wondered aloud.

“Hell, he’s even sponsored by Mars – I suppose that means he’s joining a club on the red planet,” another suggested.

“Why can’t he be allowed to like something without there being an agenda?” they concluded through salty tears.

And there were further hammer blows to hopes of retaining the England captain as a joyful Kane celebrated his lifetime supply of bratwurst by drinking 8 steins of Doppelbock and sharing a Black Forest gateau with his family, to the despair of the Tottenham faithful.

MADRID, SPAIN – JUNE 01: Tottenham Hotspur fans display a banner prior to the UEFA Champions League Final between Tottenham Hotspur and Liverpool at Estadio Wanda Metropolitano on June 01, 2019 in Madrid, Spain. (Photo by David Ramos/Getty Images)

“If he wants to join Bayern, he just needs to be honest, rather than dropping these hints with all this German food and drink,” said one upset supporter.

With many Spurs fans surrounding Kane and his family at the PR event, the 29-year-old was left with no choice but to hop into his chauffeur driven BMW and shout “danke” at the fans who sang his name.

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