An Arsenal fan who had Declan Rice’s face tattooed on his back is ready to sue the Gunners should the England midfielder snub The Emirates for Manchester City.
‘Kev’, who’s name we are concealing to spare him further embarrassment, has been a season ticket holder for over 20 years and has told Paddy Power News that he is “fuming” with the North London club for failing to get the deal over the line.
A general view is pictured of the Emirates Stadium in London on March 13, 2020. – The English Premier League suspended all fixtures until April 4 on Friday after Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta and Chelsea winger Callum Hudson-Odoi tested positive for coronavirus. (Photo by Isabel Infantes / AFP) (Photo by ISABEL INFANTES/AFP via Getty Images)
“It looked a certainty” he explained, “As soon as we put in the first bid, I thought it was a done deal, then when West Ham rejected that and we put in a second offer, I went straight down to my local tattoo parlour in Islington and got Declan’s face inked on my back.
“It took four hours and I passed out on several occasions.
“By the time I had woken up after fainting for a third time, West Ham had rejected our second bid.”
This is not the first time Kev has made a rash decision.
“See this hole in my nipple? That’s where I had a novelty Aubameyang figurine hanging for months after he signed.”
“It was almost as painful as watching him play.”
And the pin-cushion-like Gooner explained that bad luck seems to run in the family.
“Back in the early 80’s, my dad got Clive Allen’s face shaved into his barnet – he only stayed at Arsenal for 45 days!”
“At least is grew out quickly enough.”
Now Kev is sweating again, after Man City entered the race to sign the 24-year-old star and is ready to take drastic measures should the player head north this summer.
EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND – JULY 13: Mikel Arteta manager of Arsenal looks on during the pre season friendly between Hibernian and Arsenal at Easter Road on July 13, 2021 in Edinburgh, Scotland. (Photo by Steve Welsh/Getty Images)
“I’ll take legal action” he stated. “Against the club, Ornstein, and every ITK on Twitter who said we were the only ones in for him.
“Imagine the p**s I had ripped out of me at five-a-side last week when I took my shirt off. I haven’t had the mickey taken like that since I turned up in a pink trackie like Hector Bellerin.”
In the tattoo parlour where the image was inked, the guy who did it, a known Spurs fan, has apparently left the country before the “s**t hits the fan” according to a colleague.
While an Arsenal supporter liaison officer was prepared to come forward and after examining Kev’s artwork, offered a resolution to the issue.
“We are very sorry and fully understand Kev’s predicament. When (sorry, if) Rice signs for Manchester City, then we are prepared to pay for reconstructive surgery to make the tattoo look a little more like Jorginho or, if he’s sold, Granit Xhaka.”
*Paddy Power’s football coverage is 100% fake news. Honest.
Read More
- Lampard ties himself to Chelsea goalpost in protest at Mount sale
- Jack Grealish said ‘hang it in the Louvre’… so we did
- Fixture Release: AI super computer predicts Man City will win Premier League
- US Open: Rickie Fowler record round inspired by ex-Leeds boss Bielsa
- Breaking: Chelsea post ENTIRE SQUAD on Saudi Buy & Sell page
THE PADDY POWER GUIDE TO SAFER GAMBLING – EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW
