Manchester City are Premier League champions again, showing what you can do with billions of pounds to spend. With no central striker in their squad and still managing a tally of 93 points, it is quite terrifying to think what they will be like when Erling Haaland joins over summer.
Elsewhere, we said goodbye to internet favourites Steve Bruce, Ole Solskjaer and Pierre Emerick Aubameyang, Norwich were sent straight back down after one of the worst Premier League outings in history, Arsenal miss out on Champions League football and Leicester pretty much go all season without being noticed.
It is the 2021/22 Paddy Power end of season awards.
Thug Life Award – Roy Hodgson
Managerial legend Roy Hodgson picks up the prize for his antics at Selhurst Park. Having just seen his Watford side relegated, Roy shared laughs with some Palace players and clapped the Palace fans as they sang his name after the game. Furthermore, he didn’t even acknowledge his own travelling fans telling a journalist they were too far away to wave to. Mic Drop.
Hero Award – Kostas Tsimikas
Liverpool’s Greek defender Kostas Tsimikas stole the show when the reds won the Carabao Cup final on penalties. Despite not making it onto the pitch, the full-back was the last player left celebrating wildly with the fans showing the same type of full-kit w*anker energy as a peak John Terry. Fast forward a few months and Liverpool find themselves in another cup final against the same opposition which has once again gone to penalties. Who scores the winning spot-kick? The scouse-Greek hybrid himself. Seems a great character to have in the squad!
Dirty Award – Leeds
Different decade, different era, same dirty Leeds. The Yorkshire side became the first team to break a century of cards in one season strengthening their title of “Dirty” across the land. Here’s to 150 cards next season.
Hardman Award – Patrick Vieira
He was hard in the 90s and he is still hard now. Palace boss Patrick Viera wins this award for flooring an Everton fan who was abusing him to his face during a pitch invasion. While we don’t condone violence at all, we do enjoy a good sweep to the legs leaving an idiot on his backside, and then having the no-f*cks-given approach to casually walk-through hundreds of opposing fans without breaking a sweat, proving Pat is still terrifying.
What Were You Thinking? Award – Romelu Lukaku
Romelu Lukaku wins the award for his interview with Sky Sports News Italy. Totally out of the blue big-Rom tells everybody he misses his old club Inter and basically hates everything and everybody at his current club Chelsea. Why? Who advised you to do this? What were you thinking? Tommy Tuchel wasn’t waiting for answers and the Belgian’s been a back-up since.
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Comeback King Award – Phil Jones
He hadn’t played for Manchester United for almost two years due to injury and was on the wrong end of hurtful abuse from a section of his own fans despite always giving 100%. Manchester United’s Phil Jones gets this award for getting back in the mix. Even though the multi-decorated England international may well be on his way out of Old Trafford, he still has a lot to offer should another club come knocking. All he needs to do is stay fit. Phil, from everybody at Paddy Power, start doing some Yoga in the mornings.
False Rumour Award – ‘It’s 3-3 at the Etihad’
Look away now Liverpool fans, the false rumour award goes to the person who told the Anfield faithful that Aston Villa had made it 3-3 in the 85th minute at the Etihad leading to large sections of Scouse fans and players assuming they were on for a title win. Sh*thousery at its finest.
Player of the Year Award – Son Heung-Min
This award could have gone to several players, but we are giving it to Son Heung-min. To win the golden boot despite not scoring a single penalty is some achievement and to do it while playing for Spurs who let’s face it, have a lot of “off” days, we have to take our hats off.. How much will City bid for him this summer? £120m should do it.
Biggest Moment Award – Newcastle takeover
It must be the Newcastle takeover which has galvanised the club. We’ve all seen the transformation in half a season so can you begin to imagine what they will be like in three years? Move over City, there’s a new Sugar Daddy in town.
Greatest Showman Award – Mike Dean
The man who loved to be centre of attention has called time on his refereeing career. Did any set of supporters like him? He doesn’t care, he was main character, the Premier League was his stage, and the players were his puppets.
Elsewhere In the World Award – Janny Sikawze
This award goes to referee Janny Sikawze who blew the final whistle of Tunisia vs Mali match at AFCON in the 85th minute. After being made to come back onto the pitch to see out the last stages, Sikawze blew the final whistle again a few seconds before reaching 90 minutes. Managers, players, and fans were confused and angry meaning Sikawze needed a security escort when leaving the pitch and stadium. In the weeks after the competition, it materialised Sikawze prematurely blew as he was suffering with severe dehydration, and not because he simply couldn’t be a*sed.
Everywhere We Go Award – West Ham
A solid European tour from the Hammers. Having won the World Cup in 1966, West Ham came very close to more international success, only to be eliminated at the semi-final stage of the Europa League. Still, it was all about the journey and not the destination. Will do well to keep hold of Bowen and Rice this summer, Moyesy.
Quadruple Award – No one
Sorry. Better luck next season.
*Paddy Power News football coverage is 100% fake news – honest*
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