Where the hell is Mason Mount? Joining Manchester United as a marquee signing for £55m, the creative midfielder hasn’t been seen since October and people are beginning to ask questions.
Was he involved in a deadly incident on firework night which has left him unable to play football? Did he move to the Saudi League without anybody knowing? Or does he simply not want to go through the humiliation of wearing a Manchester United jersey ever again?
Adding further intrigue, just last weekend the England international posted a dreamy photo with his arms around Kobbie Mainoo, Rasmus Hojlund and Alejandro Garnacho, only for the internet to decide it was photoshopped and fake. The image was eventually pulled from circulation by United’s PR team.
Whatever’s going on, Masonists want answers.
While Paddy Power News searches for the truth surrounding Mount, our experts revisit other notorious porting disappearances over the years…
MUNICH, GERMANY – AUGUST 13: Harry Kane of FC Bayern München poses for a photograph whilst holding a FC Bayern München shirt after speaking to the media during an official press conference announcing his signing with the club at Presse Club of Allianz Arena on August 13, 2023 in Munich, Germany. The English National forward signed a contract with the club until 2027. (Photo by Christian Kaspar-Bartke/Getty Images)
Harry Kane’s hopes and dreams
Harry had big dreams of winning a trophy at Spurs, but it didn’t happen. Harry joins Bayern Munich who have won Bundesliga for eleven seasons in a row to guarantee himself a trophy. Only the cruelest of people will take happiness from the surprising emergence of Bayer Leverkusen.
Ireland’s 2024 Six Nations Grand Slam
Too soon?
Ronaldo in ’98
Brazil were seemingly cruising to second consecutive World Cup in France led by the goalscoring phenomenon Original Ronaldo™, only for him to vanish in the final and Stephane Guivarc’h, somehow, became a world champion instead.
Ronaldo after the Piers Morgan interview
Well, we know exactly where the other Ronaldo is – on the other side of the world playing at a non-league level. The bigger question is: where’s Piers? Hasn’t been seen since said interview.
Your mate in the pub when it’s his round
A very common occurrence, your watching the match and every single weekend they’re off in the lav when it’s their round. Get Robert Stack on the case ASAP.
Lionel Messi when the tax man is in town
When asked who his toughest opponent was recently, Messi said Karen from Agencia Española de Administración Tributaria.
FLORENCE, ITALY – SEPTEMBER 29: Fernando Torres of Liverpool is seen during the UEFA Champions League Group E match between Fiorentina and Liverpool at the Stadio Artemio Franchi on September 29, 2009 in Florence, Italy. (Photo by Etsuo Hara/Getty Images)
Fernando Torres’ ability to hit a barn door with a banjo
One of football’s biggest mysteries. How did he become that sh*t overnight? Some kind of divine intervention punishing Chelsea for stealing Liverpool’s best player.
Ireland international Declan Rice
Looked to be a star in the making for the Boys in Green and, just like that, he was gone. Curious.
Newcastle’s Premier League title
12 points clear in January, their name was already written on that trophy. The more Keegan spoke, the more their grip loosened.
Michael Masi
Who? Just the guy who completely vanished off the face of the planet after shafting Lewis Hamilton out of his record eighth F1 world championship. Basically the Keyser Soze of motorsport.
Sol Campbell’s love of Spurs
And, man, will he never be allowed to forget it.
Bog roll
You’re at a match and the blessed relief of even the gents stall is immediately destroyed by the discovery of an empty loo-roll dispenser.
Alan Brazil on the last day of Cheltenham
Waking up to a Alan Brazil no show is exactly the start of the day I needed, I’ll see if I can find him at Cheltenham later on today, shambles from the big man @talkSPORT
— Jamie Ohara (@Mrjamieohara1) March 15, 2024
Think we all know where he is tbf.
*Paddy Power’s football coverage is pure fantasy – don’t believe it for a second.
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