England women’s footballers are concerned that their shot at glory on Sunday may be scuppered by Harry Kane.
The Lionesses powered their way into the World Cup Final by beating hosts Australia, but immediately afterwards, coach Sabrina Weigman aired her concerns about the England men’s captain, watching the game against Spain.
“The girls are worried and we want to leave nothing to chance going into the biggest game of their careers.
“He is the unluckiest man in football” she continued, “he’s won f**k all and we do not want him to put his curse on us.
“I’ve already spoken to Bayern Munich to see if they can prevent him from watching.”
Kane, who finally completed his protracted move to the Bundesliga giants last week, played a cameo role in his side’s German Super Cup defeat to RB Leipzig on Saturday – a game everyone thought they could not lose. Now there’s concern at England HQ, that his run of bad luck will impact on the Lionesses, as they aim to add the World Cup to the European crown, they picked up last summer.
A Bayern Munich spokesperson assured Paddy Power News that:
“I’ve told Weigman not to worry and that we will keep the chinny wonder under lock and key for the duration of the match.
“We had a brainstorming session with the rest of the squad earlier today and Thomas Müller has offered to lock Kane in his garage until Sunday evening.”
One of Kane’s new Bayern team-mate’s, who wishes to remain anonymous, confirmed that:
“He is jinxed alright. Since his arrival we have had three of our first-team players go down with food poisoning, after Kane invited the lads to a house-warming barbeque.
“In training the other day, he was practising penalties and he managed to smash a window in the manager’s office.
“I understand why England will be worried.”
We have also been told that Kane was keen to get a flight over to Australia straight after Bayern’s opening league game on Friday to support the team, but once the Football Association got wind of this, they immediately advised all flights from Munich to Australia to be grounded.
An FA insider explained that:
“We had to take drastic measures so we had no choice but to cancel all flights until we are certain that it will be impossible for Kane to get there in time for kick-off.”
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