Breaking News: Chelsea offer £200m for Brighton’s head scout

Cut out the middleman. Simple really.


Chelsea have offered an eyewatering £200m for Brighton’s chief scout to join them at Stamford Bridge, according to reports.

Paddy Power news understands that Chelsea Chairman Todd Boehly is looking to cut his long-term spend in the transfer market, and the best way to do so is to throw another £200m and get the man who will continue to pull his pants down every summer for the foreseeable future.

“£200m is a snip if it can save us £900m over the next three seasons” confirmed an optimistic Chelsea transfer advisor.

“Todd wants to cut out the middleman, which is Brighton Football Club.

“If he can buy the scout who finds these players and get these players directly into the Chelsea squad without paying £100m to Brighton every single time, that would be the perfect outcome as currently it’s spiralling out of control.”

Not everybody is as optimistic though, with one Chelsea podcaster having this to say on the matter.

“It’s a painful relationship as we are already hundreds of millions of pounds deep in Brighton transfer spend and Potter isn’t even at the club anymore.

“God knows what happened to the defender with the long hair who we all thought was world class at Brighton, he’s just faded into nothingness in his time here. What if Caicedo goes the name way?”

With Chelsea’s recruitment process moving from signing players to signing scouts, Paddy Power News spoke to a local Brighton fan about the situation.

“We’ve been told Chelsea have already made down payments of £50m per season up until 2029 to have first dibs anybody who wins our Player of the Year, without knowing who it’ll be or what position they play” confirmed the supporter.

With Chelsea moving swiftly to ensure Brighton remains their official feeder club, the same cannot be said about Liverpool who have been red flagged by every midfielder in Europe.

Having been publicly rejected by both Caicedo and Lavia in recent days, it is believed Jurgen Klopp has approached free agent and former Manchester United midfielder Jesse Lingard about joining him at Anfield. Lingard is understood to have retired on the spot.

    *Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% nonsense, but you knew that already… didn’t you?

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