Lionel Messi scored twice on his first start for new club Inter Miami and dedicated his second goal to his idol Darth Vader.
The Argentinian superstar latched onto Sergio Busquets’ ball over the top to open the scoring after 8-minutes then celebrated by attempting to strangle Inter Miami co-owner David Beckham using Vader’s signature Force choke.
Messi’s new celebration is ice cold 🥶🥶
— EiF (@EiFSoccer) July 26, 2023
Vader, a reviled intergalactic tyrant, is renowned for choking insubordinate officers using a telekinetic death grip.
Fortunately for Beckham, Messi was unable to properly conjure the dark side of the Force and the former Manchester United and England star escaped with some minor bruising to his larynx.
Discussing his goal celebration with Paddy Power News after the game, Messi said:
‘That was for you, Darth’.
‘Unfortunately, I couldn’t summon the Force to strangle Mr Beckham in front of our fans tonight, but I still want to dedicate the attempt to you’.
‘You are an inspiration to millions across the galaxy and I hope that one day I can crush a man’s throat using the dark side of the Force as well as you can’.
FORT LAUDERDALE, FLORIDA – JULY 16: (L-R) Managing Owner Jorge Mas, Lionel Messi, Co-Owner Jose Mas, and Co-Owner David Beckham pose during “The Unveil” introducing Lionel Messi hosted by Inter Miami CF at DRV PNK Stadium on July 16, 2023 in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. (Photo by Megan Briggs/Getty Images)
The 36-year-old then chopped his way through a throng of pitch side reporters using a light sabre before making his way down the touchline.
Meanwhile, after footage of Messi telekinetically squeezing Beckham’s neck emerged last night, Cristiano Ronaldo’s sister Elma took to Instagram to accuse the former Barca star of using the Force to intimidate football journalists as well as the coaches and captains of national teams during voting for the Ballon d’Or award.
‘We all know Lionel Pessi has been choking votes out of people for years’, wrote Elma.
‘The Force was clearly strong with that one in 2021. Robert Lewandowski was robbed’.
‘Too many snakes at these awards things. Cristiano’s just gonna look after himself from now on’.
‘And Piers, obviously’.
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% nonsense, but you knew that already… didn’t you?
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