Cut me, and I bleed Schalke: Let’s all jump on the Bundesliga bandwagon

From weeks ago when the return of the Bundesliga seemed just a distant pipe-dream amid a sea of misery we’re finally here… Fussball is Coming Home.

It’s all eyes on Germany this weekend as the world’s first major league emerges from lockdown (no offence Belurassian Premier League).

So it’s time to get ready for thousands of fans to come out the woodwork and state their claim to be proper, dyed-in-the-wool ultras…

• Get ready for your mates to recite their love for Borussia Moenchengladbach, but not be able to spell it.
• Get ready for a lecture on why Union Berlin are the heart and soul of German football, compared to wicked old Bayern Munich.
• Get ready for a blasting for admitting you actually quite like RB Leipzig.
• Get ready to be told why Borussia Dortmund’s ‘Yellow Wall’ is so superior to Liverpool’s Kop.
• Get ready for a history lesson on Bayer Leverkusen, Wolfsburg, Schalke et all.

Expect your mates to flip-flop between which teams they support, get ripped off for dodgy replicas on eBay and adopt a Steve McLaren-esque local accent to try and fit in.

They might even forget all previous loyalties and fully rev up the Germany bandwagon for Euro 2020 (or is that Euro 2021?)

God, I miss the Premier League…

RECOMMENDED READING:

• 11 of the best Germans to play in the Premier League
• How to bluff it as a German footy expert
• Which Bundesliga team you should support – based on your Premier League allegiances