Local man surgically removed from dressing gown for New Year’s Eve ​

Yes, it's time to put on something else


A Dublin man is said to be in a stable condition after undergoing an operation to have a dressing gown surgically removed from his body.

36-year-old Ivor Robbin is recovering well in the Specialist Drama Unit of St. James’s Hospital following the complicated five-hour procedure.

Mr Robbin was admitted to hospital upon discovering the nightgown had become fused to his flesh.

Doctors believe the garment must’ve attached itself to his skin at some point during the Christmas holidays.

The father-of-two claims he spent the better part of a week functioning to the lowest possible level while lounging around in a new robe he’d received as a Christmas gift.

Speaking from his hospital bed, Mr Robbin told Paddy Power News: “The surgeon said there’d be some permanent scarring but she managed to remove around 95% of my dressing gown.

I’m not sure how it happened to be honest with you? I guess I just lost track of time

“I was sat on the sofa drinking Bucks Fizz and watching Only Fools re-runs on Dave for what must’ve been days.

“I wore that dressing gown so long, the kids were calling me Hugh Hefner.”

Head of the Specialist Drama Unit, Dr Steph O’Scope, explained: “Disorientation caused by the Christmas holidays can lead some people to believe that every day is a Sunday.

“Therefore, they think it’s perfectly acceptable to scratch their arse all day while draped in a fleecy robe.

“Prolonged periods of inactivity like those experienced by Mr Robbins can result in what’s medically referred to as a bilateral house coat fusion.

“These can be avoided by hiding the TV remote, pouring the Prosecco stash down the sink and telling the affected party to get their lazy arse in the shower.”

In related news, a Kilkenny man was rushed to hospital last night when he overdosed on stuffing.

45-year-old Jeremy Paxo was found face down in a pile of breadcrumbs and sausage meat by his wife sometime between his 340th and 345th trip to the fridge that day.

*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news – except the stuff about Arsenal being sh*t, that’s all true*


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