Breaking News – Larry the Cat RESIGNS after David Cameron cabinet return

He's meee-out


Larry the cat has resigned as Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office following David Cameron’s appointment as Foreign Secretary.

The tabby cat served during the premierships of five prime ministers including Theresa May, Boris Johnson, Liz Truss, Rishi Sunak and Cameron himself.

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM – JUNE 27: Larry the Cat catches a mouse outside 10 Downing Street as the weekly cabinet meeting continues in London, United Kingdom on June 27, 2023. (Photo by Rasid Necati Aslim/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images)

Prime Minister Rishi Sunak is expected to name the next Chief Mouser in the next few hours with Liz Truss the bookie’s favourite.

Larry gave an emotional speech outside 10 Downing Street this afternoon during which he gave the reasons for his departure.

‘I told the Prime Minister if he brought that plonker back then he could catch his own bloody mice’, he purred.

‘Cameron started this bloody Brexit mess then p*ssed off to write his memoirs. Danny Dyer was 100% right.’

Meanwhile, Paddy Power News understands Cameron fought off stiff competition from John Major, Sam Allardyce and Sheev Palpatine to land the role.

The 57-year-old released a statement earlier today thanking Rishi Sunak for appointing him as Foreign Secretary.

‘It is an honour and a privilege to become the UK’s unelected Foreign Secretary, appointed by an unelected Prime Minister’, he wrote.

‘Everyone’s been so welcoming on my first day back. Well, except Larry who took a sh*t on my desk before he left’.

As news of Cameron’s appointment spread, prominent members of the pig community including Miss Piggy, Porky Pig and Pumbaa from the Lion King led a demonstration in Trafalgar Square.

‘Brexit. What a wonderful phrase. It means no customs union for the rest of your days’, sang Pumbaa along with thousands of protestors.

*Paddy Power’s football coverage is pure fantasy – if you believe this is true, we’ve got some magic beans you might be interested in…

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