Mike Ashley has issued a ‘take it or leave it’ ultimatum to any Newcastle United supporters seeking a refund for 2020/21 season tickets they paid in full.
The retail billionaire is refusing to pay back any money to the 18,000 fans who made a full payment back in March.
However, Ashley is willing to furnish each season ticket holder with an abnormally large tea mug instead, according to a statement he released last night.
Newcastle's opposition to the £15 PPV charge is welcome, and the next statement from Mike Ashley should address season-ticket payments & refunds for behind-closed-doors games. #nufc https://t.co/CE3ohrjSrG
— Miles Starforth (@milesstarforth) October 27, 2020
‘I want to assure our supporters their money is safe and well, resting in my account’, the 56-year-old told Paddy Power News.
‘I’m happy to spare you the ordeal of issuing you a refund – only to have to ask you for the money once again, when it’s safe to return to St James’ Park’.
‘Who could be arsed with the hassle? When you think about it, I’m really doing you a favour’.
‘All things considered, I’m sure you’ll agree it’s better off with me. So, let’s agree right now to drop the subject and get on with our lives’.
‘As a token of my appreciation for your understanding on the matter, I’m very kindly willing to give each of you a FREE Sports Direct mug’.
‘Anyone wishing to obtain their free mug can do so on the Sports Direct website. Terms and conditions apply. Postage and packaging £927.99’.
However, the Sports Direct CEO was forced to release a second statement when furious Newcastle supporters complained about what they perceived to be extortionate postage and packaging costs.
‘Each mug weighs approximately 150kgs and holds more litres than your standard household hot tub’, explained Ashley.
‘I can only fit two bloody mugs in a freight container’, he added.
Meanwhile, the Newcastle supremo also hit out at the £14.95 pay-per-view charge for Premier League games which he voted in favour of last month.
‘Charging fans 15 quid for single televised games is totally unacceptable’, said Ashley, who has admitted to paying his own staff less than minimum wage.
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