Anthony Martial has vowed to stay and fight for his place on Manchester United’s treatment table after being linked with a move to another medical facility in January.
The 28-year-old has rejected interest from Marseille, Fenerbahce and the Saudi Arabian Premier League. But as it stands, United are unlikely to trigger the option to pay the Frenchman’s medical bills for one more year.
Martial has been a stalwart in the United treatment room since joining the club from Monaco for a reported £50m in 2015.
‘I know there will be fierce competition from the likes of Raphael Varane and Luke Shaw, but I’m determined to keep my place on this table’, Martial told Paddy Power News, while receiving treatment in the recently renamed ‘Phil Jones Medical Centre’ at Carrington.
‘It won’t be easy, but with a poor attitude and zero willingness to put my body on the line, hopefully I’ll remain unavailable between now and the end of the season’.
Acknowledging those who enabled his ridiculous stint at the club to drag on for nine seasons, Martial said:
‘I’d like to thank some lads on Twitter, who think the sun shines out of my arse, as well as Mr. Woodward who gave me a new 5-year deal worth a quarter of a million quid a week’.
Meanwhile, United’s club doctor, Dr. Nicholas “Nick” Riviera M.D., told Paddy Power News:
‘All the medical staff are delighted we are getting to work with Anthony for another six months.
‘He really is a marvel of modern science. Despite having no apparent knocks, strains or tears, Anthony is never fit enough to play football and we’re determined to get to the bottom of it’.
The news was also welcomed by Martial’s bank manager who will receive another £6.5m before the expiry of the forward’s contract in June.
‘Phew’, said banker Seymour Sterling, while wiping his brow with a crisp £50 note.
‘I thought I was going to have to tell the missus we needed to cut it down to two lobster-based meals per day’.
*Paddy Power’s football coverage is pure fantasy – don’t believe it for a second
- Spurs target Timo Werner says he’ll “bounce back” after missing flight to London
- Revealed – Liverpool’s attempt to send Nunez to AFCON instead of Salah
- Premier League Sack Race: Which manager’s favourite to get the boot?
- AFCON Odds: Who are the favourites for the African Cup of Nations?