Spurs target Timo Werner vows to bounce back after missing flight to London

It's like they say - you miss 100% of the flights you don't try to board

Timo Werner, Leipzig, October 2022

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RB Leipzig forward has Timo Werner vowed to bounce back after missing his flight to London ahead of a loan move to Tottenham Hotspur, Paddy Power News can reveal.

The 27-year-old spurned a glorious opportunity to board a commercial airliner heading for England’s capital earlier today but promised to come back to the airport even stronger. It’s understood the German arrived at Halle Airport without his passport despite the gate being wide open.

‘I didn’t become a bad traveller overnight’, Werner told Paddy Power News.

‘If Tottenham keep booking these flights, sooner or later I’m going to board one’.

The former Chelsea striker also missed a taxi ride home after he got stuck in a queue in the airport’s Pret A Manger but promised Spurs fans they would soon see the best of him.

‘The taxi said it would be 20 minutes and I thought I would have enough time for a Garlic & Herb Swirl. It just wasn’t my morning, unfortunately’.

‘But the Manger still has belief in me and hopefully I can finish the next pastry that’s put on a plate for me’.

Meanwhile, Spurs have confirmed that a scheduled medical will proceed as boss Ange Postecoglou prepares to have his head examined.

‘I dunno what you’re laughing at mate. Timo will score lots of goals for us. Southampton are still in the Premier League, aren’t they?’, asked the Australian before being whisked away for a scan.

In related news, after missing out on Werner’s signature, Manchester United assured fans they’re still in the market for a striker.

The Old Trafford outfit were offered Werner’s services, but scouts felt he did not meet the club’s current criteria, in that he was decent around 2013 and wanted a king’s ransom in wages.

‘If the right 35-year-old egomaniac on a free transfer becomes available we’ll be ready to pounce’, interim United CEO Patrick Stewart told Paddy Power News before boldly going onto the Football Manager 24 database and filtering for “Contract Expiring” .

*Paddy Power’s football coverage is pure fantasy – don’t believe it for a second.

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