A Manchester United fan has been seen removing his green and gold scarf after learning the club are top of the form table.
Having been vehemently against the club, the owners, the manager and the players for the majority of the season, five wins out of their last six matches in the Premier League has seen United supporter, Danny, trade in the green and gold anger for a large grin and replica jersey with Casemiro on the back.
MANCHESTER, ENGLAND – MARCH 21: Green and gold scarves on sale outside the ground before the Barclays Premier League match between Manchester United and Liverpool at Old Trafford on March 21, 2010 in Manchester, England. (Photo by Michael Regan/Getty Images)
“He’s as smug as he was in the 90s” said his very tolerant City supporting friend, Bert.
“He’s put the scarf back in his drawer and is into football again, apparently.
“Friday night he told me the game’s gone, oil money has ruined the sport and that he wouldn’t be watching it until the Glazers get out of his club.”
“But I guess a win against Luton can change all of that.”
With United humiliated by Newcastle in the Carabao Cup, bottom of their Champions’ League group and limping to victories against Fulham and Luton in recent weeks, Danny had this to say to Paddy Power News.
“I believe in the process, pal.
“If we are top of the form table when every referee and VAR decision goes against us, imagine what we could do when luck goes our way? U, N, I, T, E, D, United are the team for me…”
Meanwhile, potential club investor Sir Jim Ratcliffe has revealed he recently suggested to aides that his company, INEOS, had developed a time machine to visit the future, which the billionaire used to find out what the f**k is happening with this takeover having got sick of waiting.
British INEOS Group chairman and OGC Nice’s owner Jim Ratcliffe looks on before the French Cup final football match between OGC Nice and FC Nantes at the Stade de France, in Saint-Denis, on the outskirts of Paris, on May 7, 2022. (Photo by BERTRAND GUAY / AFP) (Photo by BERTRAND GUAY/AFP via Getty Images)
“He travelled to the year 2053 where he found a 93-year-old Avram Glazer still ignoring his WhatsApp messages,” our source said.
“’He had me on mute for 30 years and there were ninety thousand missed calls from me on his phone’ and looked bewildered,” the confidante divulged.
“But he soon got over it and said if this falls through he can go back to being a Chelsea fan.”
During the trip through time, the 71 year old industrial magnate also discovered Rasmus Hojlund never found the net despite making 433 Premier League appearances for the club, Jesse Lingard continued to be regarded a youngster despite celebrating his 60th birthday by doing a dance and putting his hip out, and Old Trafford had completely eroded with United playing their home games at the local park having dropped down to the Vanarama National League North.
*Paddy Power’s football coverage is pure fantasy – if you believe this is true, we’ve got some magic beans you might be interested in…
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