Wayne Rooney has been spotted walking through the streets of Birmingham while licking a large red novelty lollipop.
The 37-year-old has been strongly linked with the vacant managerial post at St Andrews and the sight of Rooney bounding through England’s second city with a lolly has fuelled speculation.
Birmingham CEO Gary Cook decided to part company with Head Coach John Eustace yesterday after growing weary of the steady progress made under 43-year-old and the stability he brought to the club.
Rooney is also rumoured to be looking at houses near the Blue’s training ground and has reportedly told estate agents to find him a property with a granny flat.
‘Birmingham? I went on trial there once’, Rooney told Paddy Power News while wrapping his mouth around the giant sweet.
‘Got a 6-month driving ban for playing Candy Crush on me phone while doing 60 in a 30’.
When asked he quit his post at DC United because he’d already been lined up to take Eustace’s job, Rooney snapped:
‘I’m no grass, mate. You don’t call me Rebekah Vardy’.
However, Rooney seemed to confirm his appointment in a tweet to former Manchester United teammate John O’Shea who is hotly tipped to become his assistant manager.
The former Everton star wrote:
‘Hi sheasy do u want picking up in the morning pal’.
In other news, former Chelsea and Real Madrid forward Eden Hazard has announced his retirement from kicking ball boys up the arse at the age of 32.
The Belgian won 16 major honours during a glittering career including two Premier League titles, a Champions League medal and the 2013 Pusk-áss Award for repeatedly booting a Swansea City ball boy’s backside.
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Hazard was offered honorary Australian citizenship after the incident for his services to ‘Booting’, a much-revered form of corporal punishment in the region.
However, after declining Australia’s offer, their prime minister told Hazard:
‘Disparaging the boot is a bootable offence’.
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% nonsense, but you knew that already… didn’t you?
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