Kylian Mbappe winks at camera after committing future to PSG

Kylian Mbappe has said he can't wait to play Roquefort, Brie and Camembert next season - then p*ssed himself laughing

PSG superstar Kylian Mbappe has left the football world confused having said he plans to play out his contract in Paris while winking at the camera and muttering “Hala Madrid” with his hand over his mouth in a club social media video.

Following numerous reports that the French forward would not extend his PSG contract beyond 2024 in a bid to force a move to the Spanish giants, Mbappe cut short his Tapas and Paella cookery class to address the football world in a video for his social channels to set the record straight.

However, the clip has only led to more confusion about his plans.

“It was a tad odd that he began his announcement with ‘hola’ instead of ‘bonjour’, wasn’t it?” one commentator observed.

“When he said, ‘I definitely want to stay’, it was almost like a child saying, ‘Of course I want to tidy my room’.

“And something about the way he said ‘when I was young all I ever dreamed of was being the greatest player in the farmers league for the whole of my career,’ suggested he might not fancy sticking around.”

Reports that he was also holding a book titled ‘An Idiot’s Guide to Living in Madrid’ during the filming of the video gives a clue as to his true intentions.

“We all know he was convinced to stay in Paris after being made a club director as well as captain, penalty taker, freekick taker and team mascot, so I guess we are all wondering what Qatar Sports Investment will offer him to stay this time around,” a PSG fan said following the release of the video.

“Perhaps they’ll rename the stadium after him, or offer him control of Neymar’s army of helper monkeys”.

With the announcement leaving the football world with more questions than answers, one senior French journalist tried to get more clarity from the 24-year-old, only to be told he was taking a siesta before heading off to a night of bull fighting and flamenco dancing with his close friends, Vinicius Junior and Rodrygo.

Elsewhere in transfer news, wantaway Spurs striker Harry Kane has been caught digging an escape tunnel from inside the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. Paddy Power News understands he was caught in the act somewhere in southern France with the intention of making it all the way to Spain to sign for Real Madrid.

*Paddy Power’s football coverage is 100% fake news. Honest.

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