Former Tottenham Hotspur manager Mauricio Pochettino has been jet skiing in the North Atlantic Ocean following the sacking of Antonio Conte.
Several eyewitnesses claim the 51-year-old was heading towards a region known as ‘The Bermuda Triangle’ where a number of aircraft and ships are said to have disappeared under mysterious circumstances.
Pochettino made the trip after hearing he was tipped to succeed Conte and return to Spurs’ dugout for a second spell.
One onlooker told Paddy Power News:
‘I was sailing with friends when suddenly a man came hurtling towards us on a jet ski’.
‘As the man got closer, I realised it was Mauricio Pochettino’.
‘Good luck with the Spurs job, Mr Pochettino’, I shouted. Then he went full throttle and headed out to sea’.
‘He stopped at one point and gave us two fingers. Then he disappeared into the fog shortly after that’.
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Should Pochettino become the Bermuda Triangle’s latest victim, Spurs chairman Daniel Levy will turn his attention to recently sacked Bayern Munich boss Julian Nagelsmann.
However, any job offer will depend on whether Levy can pick what clothes Nagelsmann wears on matchdays.
‘Remember that jacket he wore when Leipzig got spanked 5-0 at Old Trafford? He looked like a life-size box of Kleenex’, Levy told Paddy Power News.
‘And he would never get away with that shoes and no socks look on a wet Wednesday night at Stoke’.
RB Leipzig’s German coach Julian Nagelsmann shouts instructions to his players from the touchline during the UEFA Champions league group H football match between Manchester United and RB Leipzig at Old Trafford stadium in Manchester, north west England, on October 28, 2020. (Photo by Anthony Devlin / AFP) (Photo by ANTHONY DEVLIN/AFP via Getty Images)
‘Eric Dier can take him shopping for some proper Stone Island clobber. Always get the badge in Julian’.
Meanwhile, Levy has quick to rule out a return to the club for former boss Tim Sherwood after the 54-year-old was spotted outside a North London dry cleaner with a freshly pressed gilet.
‘Of all the sh*te former Spurs bosses we could rehire: Christian Gross; Jacques Santini; Nuno Espirito Santo – Tim ‘I’m solely responsible for Harry Kane’s career’ Sherwood would be the last’.
Upon hearing the news, Sherwood spray painted the words ‘59% win ratio’ in giant letters on Levy’s house.
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 110% nonsense and that’s the truth. Honest.
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