Exclusive: Gerrard set for Liverpool return – to work in megastore

He's back - kinda

Steven Gerrard has fulfilled his ambition of returning to Liverpool – by accepting an offer to work in the megastore at Anfield.

The former Reds skipper, who was sacked as boss of Aston Villa last week, has quickly bounced back into the limelight to end speculation over his future.

Although he won’t be allowed to start his new role until Monday due to contract issues with his former employer, Gerrard told reporters that he can’t wait to begin this latest chapter in his career.

“I felt it was important to get back in the game as soon as possible” he explained.

“My heart has always remained here and when I saw they were looking for staff to cover the busy Christmas period, it was a no-brainer.

“The chance to spend all day wearing replica kit and eat my sarnies on the Kop during my lunch break was something I’ve dreamt about since being a kid.”

Gerrard has initially signed a deal until the end of the current season, with a view to extending his stay should he hit performance-related targets.

He confessed he was “excited by the challenge,” adding that “my experience of working in Tesco’s as a young teenager will stand me in good stead.”

Megastore manager Sue, was delighted to have club icon on board.

“Steve will make a huge difference to sales over the festive period” she explained. “His passion for the role really shone through at the interview and whilst there may have been candidates with a little more experience, we feel we have made the right choice moving forward.”

Asked if Gerrard would get preferential treatment due to his former ties with the club, Sue was quick to set the record straight:

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“Absolutely not” she replied, “Steve will be expected to muck in like the rest of the crew. He’ll have to make the teas and fetch the milk when it’s his turn and he’ll also have to work late at least one night a week and work every third Sunday whether the team are at home or not.”

There had been rumours that Gerrard could return to Ibrox to replace under-fire Rangers boss Giovanni van Bronckhorst. The former England captain was at pains to explain that;

“These stories simply aren’t true. There was a job advertised for a curator in the club museum, but when I discovered Ally McCoist had applied, I knew I wouldn’t have a chance.”

*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is just complete nonsense, every word of it. Honest.

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