Breaking: Ronaldo’s furious walk from Old Trafford reaches M6 Toll

Seething

Cristiano Ronaldo’s protest walk from Old Trafford has reached the M6 Toll according to the latest reports.

The Portuguese star decided enough was enough on Wednesday night at Old Trafford, leaving the dug-out before the end of the 2-0 win over Spurs when it became clear he wasn’t going to be involved.

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND – JULY 31: Cristiano Ronaldo of Manchester United during the pre-season friendly between Manchester United and Rayo Vallecano at Old Trafford on July 31, 2022 in Manchester, England. (Photo by Matthew Ashton – AMA/Getty Images)

“It was incredible” a United source told Paddy Power News, “He walked straight into the dressing-room, picked up his 700 goals gong, which was catching leaking water from the roof, and walked off into the night”.

As the nation slept, Ronaldo continued his crusade and has been walking through the night uttering obscenities in Portuguese and singing theme songs to James Bond movies.

“He popped into our services first thing to pick up a Greggs pastie and a coffee” a bewildered employee at a service station on the M6 told us.

“He didn’t give any indication as to where his was heading.”

CR7’s one-man march has caused chaos for morning commuters with traffic reports suggesting there’s already a 10-mile tailback.

Some motorists decided to leave their cars and join Ronnie as he strutted his stuff along the hard shoulder.

“I was there alongside Ian Botham when he did his charity walk from John O’ Groats to Lands End,” one of them explained, “I’m going to stay alongside Cristiano until he decides to quit.”

Just where Ronaldo is heading remains unclear.

Early reports suggested that he might be walking to London to see if Chelsea’s new owner Todd Boehly still wants him at Stamford Bridge in January.

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Others claim that his agent, Jorge Mendes, has told him to walk to a disused airfield just outside Birmingham, where a private jet will pick him up and whisk him out of the country.

Back in Manchester, United boss Erik ten Hag refused to be drawn on Ronaldo’s petulance after the game, but at a hastily arranged press conference at Carrington this morning, the Dutch tactician was keen to set the record straight.

ARNHEM, NETHERLANDS – MAY 15: AFC Ajax Head Coach / Manager, Erik ten Hag looks on prior to the Dutch Eredivisie match between Vitesse and Ajax Amsterdam held at Gelredome on May 15, 2022 in Arnhem, Netherlands. (Photo by Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images)

“We were surprised that Cristiano decided to do what he did. We were even more upset that he took his 700 goals commemorative dish with him, because we’ve been waiting for months to get the roof fixed and Bruno had to drive home commando because his pants got soaked in the dressing room.”

“Luckily David De Gea, who also got a gong for notching up 500 appearances for United on Sunday, had his to hand as it was catching rain water from the leaks in the south stand roof.”

*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is just complete nonsense, every word of it. Honest.

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