The Welsh, Scottish and Irish Football Associations have issued a joint statement asking supporters of each respective nations to prepare themselves for the possibility that England might win EURO 2020 after England strolled past Ukraine.
In an emotional address, Kieran O’Connor (FAW), Rod Petrie (SFA), Gerry McAnaney (FAI) and David Martin (IFA) warned fans, ‘It might actually be coming home this time’.
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During the joint press conference held at Hampden Park, the FA chiefs spoke of their dismay over Germany’s failure to eliminate the English from the tournament, preferably via a penalty shootout.
‘With 75 minutes gone and the game evenly poised at 0-0, we all felt certain the game was destined for extra-time and penalty kicks’, said Rod Petrie.
‘Having failed to beat the Germans in a knockout tie in 55 years, the rest of the home nations were confident that football wasn’t coming home’.
Jun 1996: England fans enjoy the atmosphere at a European Championship match at Wembley in London, England. Mandatory Credit: Allsport UK /Allsport
‘However, as we now know, the jammy sh*tes scored two late goals and progressed to the quarter-finals, and they might as well have been given a bye to the semi-final when they landed a handy wee draw against the Ukraine’.
‘And with both the semis and final being played at Wembley, we might as well prepare ourselves for the possibility that football might be coming home after all’.
Irish FA chiefs advised fans to take the necessary precautions in the event Harry Kane lifts aloft The Henri Delaunay Trophy on July 11th.
‘Put your TV set on Gumtree, cancel all newspaper subscriptions, take any devices such as smartphones and tablets out to a big field and bury them’.
‘Go live in a cave if needs be lads’.
When asked how long supporters should remain in their underground chambers, Kieran O’Connor said:
‘We’re still hearing about 1966 and that was bloody 55 years ago. Depending on how much it boils your piss, you might have to stay in the cave indefinitely’.
The press conference ended with SFA chief Rod Petrie unveiling a plaque to commemorate Scotland’s famous 0-0 victory over England during the group stages of the tournament.
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