A disconsolate Ally McCoist led a one-man invasion of Carlisle this morning following Scotland’s exit from the 2020 European Championships.
The 58-year-old ITV pundit entered the English border city on horseback at dawn where he laid siege to a Greggs bakery for several hours.
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Eyewitnesses claim the invasion was quelled when the former Glasgow Rangers striker ate several sausage rolls and came to his senses.
Paddy Power News understands McCoist spent the previous evening drowning his sorrows with tonic wine and alcoholic Irn-Bru after watching Scotland lose 3-1 to a Luka Modric inspired Croatia.
The defeat ensured Scotland finished bottom of Group D whilst the the ‘Auld Enemy’ England progressed as group winners.
To add insult to injury, each of the Croat’s three goals were wildly celebrated by the 20,000 English supporters inside Wembley Stadium.
Distraught by Scotland’s premature departure, McCoist borrowed a friend’s racehorse and set off for Carlisle around 4am.
Upon arriving in the border city, a bare-bellied McCoist declared Scottish independence before storming the doors of a Greggs bakery.
Once inside, the former Rangers man helped himself to a delicious bounty of sausage meat wrapped inside puff pastry.
— Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) June 18, 2021
Addressing those inside the fine-dining establishment, the Scotsman said:
‘I am Alistair McCoist. You’ve come tae eat sausage rolls ‘n’ steak bakes as free men. And free men ye are’.
‘Many hours fae now, when ye’r dying of a hangover in yer kips, wid ye trade it all for one chance tae tell oor enemies, thay can take oor Euros but they’ll never take oor sausage rolls’.
McCoist went on to berate the English for their temerity to cheer Croatia’s goals against Scotland.
‘Thay cheered mair Croatian goals last night than they hae England goals sae far in the whole tournament. The sh*tes’.
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