Revealed: Why the BBC really chose Bournemouth-Palace as its first-ever live Premier League match

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected], [email protected]

Hi Gary/Alan,

Just wanted to get your opinion on something. As you know, the Corp has been waiting for 27 years to televise a live Premier League match, and I think Bournehampton versus Crispian Palace would be ideal for the occasion. What do you think?

Director.
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From: [email protected]
To: [email protected], CC: [email protected]

Hi Director,

Are you totally insane? Three decades in the making and you pick a tame clash between two clubs with tiny fanbases? WTF?

Gaz.
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From: [email protected]
To: [email protected], [email protected]

Gary,

There’s no need for that kind of language. Anyway, look, I’ll be honest with you, the snooker and lawn bowls lobbies are very powerful within this organisation. I had a visit from Rob Walker the other night and he threatened to break my legs if the footer ended up overshadowing the billiards.

And, frankly, I’m a bit more into the bowls myself – never really understood why football is the nation’s game of choice. You haven’t lived until you’ve spent a day watching a 55-year-old accountant stare at a jack for 35 minutes before launching that first bowl. Gary, genuinely, it’s exhilarating stuff and I don’t want this football lark stealing the limelight.

Director.
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A general view of the headquarters of the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) in London on October 30, 2017. / AFP PHOTO / Daniel LEAL-OLIVAS (Photo credit should read DANIEL LEAL-OLIVAS/AFP via Getty Images)

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected], CC: [email protected]

Hi Director,

Well, if that’s how you feel you’d better find someone else to present it. I’ve heard big Nige Farage is available.

Gaz.
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From: [email protected][email protected]
To: [email protected], CC: [email protected]

Gary,

I’m sorry you feel that way but I just don’t think there’s any place for regular live Premier League football on the BBC. Quite simply, it’s far too popular and showing people programmes that they’re interested in just doesn’t fit with our mission statement. I reluctantly accept your resignation.

Director.
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From: [email protected]
To: [email protected], CC: [email protected]

Hi,

Is this customer support? I’m looking to get my password reset, can anyone help?

Cheers,

Al.

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