*All prices are bang up to date with our snazzy widget, while in-copy odds are accurate at the time of publication but subject to change
Do you remember the glory days? You were eleven years old and you’d go to the local jungle gym centre, run straight to the bouncy castles and instead of enjoying the ups and downs of gravity, you felt the need to climb to its highest point..
And swanton bomb your best friend because there was no greater indication of friendship than that.
It’s the absolute best night of the year for millions of people – the Granddaddy of them all, the single-biggest, most over-the-top showcase on the planet – WrestleMania.
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Wrestlemania 38, Saturday 2nd April & Sunday 3rd April
Cards begin at 1am UK time
So, dust off those easily-collapsible tables, find yourself a ladder in the shed and call your best mate over for a throwback to the glory days.
In all seriousness, I’m not sure I can actually promote that, but what I can do is give you a primer for the now-two-day event and help you make a few bob along the way.
If your local crypto dealer hasn’t told you that wrestling is fake yet, then you’re doing something wrong. But it is scripted and with scripting comes predictability. Never has making money been more enjoyable than seeing someone suffer a stinkface for the sake of your acca. Here are my predictions for the biggest bouts.
SATURDAY NIGHT (SUNDAY AM, UK TIME)
Bianca Belair to beat Becky Lynch
This is maybe the most interesting match on the card, but with their new approach to Becky Lynch’s character, it feels like Belair needs the title to legitimise her in the fans’ eyes.
Belair’s entire intrigue is based around the fact she’s a good wrestler. Eventually results matter if that’s your build. Becky’s in line for a three-month character build away from the title picture.
The Miz & Logan Paul to beat The Mysterios
I don’t believe Paul’s people would sacrifice his reputation in the boxing sphere by having him lose here, and the Mysterios are as perfect a fall pair as you could want.
Their family bond can go in so many directions storyline-wise that a loss to a pair like these two won’t harm them long-term.
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SUNDAY NIGHT (MONDAY AM, UK TIME)
AJ Styles to Beat Edge
AJ Styles seems back to himself and while you can write an angle where Edge’s new persona of being a horrible little cretin is all-conquering, it’s one of those important moments for Styles’ final run as a top guy in the company.
Edge will maintain momentum regardless of results, especially as a heel – so only one of these men winning makes any sense.
Johnny Knoxville to beat Sami Zayn
Celebrities do not lose at WrestleMania – it’s a fact. And Knoxville beating Zayn would further reinforce Sami’s only attributable characteristic now, which is being angry and frustrated all the time.
His wrestling ability means they can’t have a genuine match, so there’ll be some sort of screwy finish to protect Zayn from this humiliation, no doubt.
Roman Reigns to beat Brock Lesnar
I suspect this might be Lesnar’s last-ever match, so it would be mandatory to give Reigns the belt, especially as they’re unifying the titles so the champion would have challengers from all sides and have to work a heavy schedule.
But as always, this won’t be a popular one. Just bring back The Shield, Vince!
Austin Theory to beat Pat McAfee
I love Pat McAfee and think his place in new media is warranted. What I don’t think he’s done well is position himself in the company’s mind when it comes to a WrestleMania moment.
He’s fallen into the cracks of being a wannabe wrestler/celebrity and until he fully commits to one or the other, he’s not getting a victory at a show like this.
Wrestlemania Predictions
SATURDAY CARD
Bianca Belair to beat Becky Lynch
The Miz & Logan Paul to beat The Mysterios
SUNDAY CARD
AJ Styles to Beat Edge
Johnny Knoxville to beat Sami Zayn
Roman Reigns to beat Brock Lesnar
Austin Theory to beat Pat McAfee
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*All prices are bang up to date with our snazzy widget, while in-copy odds are accurate at the time of publication but subject to change
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