Behind the scenes of the Progrès at Ibrox – an eyewitness account from two Bhoy builders

Okay, so we’re not fully qualified builders but we do recognise that every now and again you have to don your high-vis tops and attempt to make that quick repair...

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5am. Still dark. All the necessary maintenance material was already loaded into the back of the PP van. We had a long commute ahead of us to the land that time forgot, Ibrox.

Much like the daily duties of a paper boy getting up early to do his paper round, we were about to deliver some brutal, but real news to Rangers fans.

As we approached Ibrox we decided to do a quick sweep of the stadium to check for life, or maybe even zombies.

A quick rendezvous with our photographer, erm, I mean, foreman, instructed us that there were a couple of Ibrox security guards doing the rounds at the opposite side of the stadium.

With sunlight creeping up and traffic on the adjacent road increasing, we knew that this was now our chance.

We Hooped (sorry, hopped) out of the van quicker than Scooby and Shaggy Doo getting out the Mystery Machine and got to work.

We parked the van near the entrance to the car park to try and skew onlookers’ ability to see what we were up to.

You would have thought that wearing high-vis tops would have made us less conspicuous, but it in fact did the opposite as suspicion rose whilst we unloaded green and white cones from the van.

Passing traffic had increased tenfold and passers-by were starting to double back to try and sneak a look. We were still aware of security catching us.

This is Govan. The ‘builders’ are Celtic fans. The two don’t mix.

Alas, nobody approached us or managed to say anything towards us in the end. We packed up our stuff and got away Scot-free.

We just assumed Rangers fans would be catching up on the sleep needed for the long travel they have ahead of them, Partick Thistle on Friday.

Shoot over to PaddyPower.com for the latest SPL odds…