Fitba Round-up: A good old fashioned ‘rammy’ and derby digs galore

Wasn’t the Old Firm derby great?

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It’s been a hectic week of festivities and Scottish football, so much so that no one knows what day of the week it is, and we’ve had more derbies than cans of Tennents over the last 48 hours. The schedule was as full as my waistline after smashing an entire trifle for breakfast and it didn’t disappoint.

The action kicked off on Boxing Day as Hibs picked up a 2-0 win over a struggling Hearts side at Tynecastle. Not only were Hearts pumped by their neighbours, but they’re now also five points adrift at the foot of the Premiership. Tough times.

The tough times were made tougher as Hibs’ social team decided to go fishing after the game with an incredibly pleasing effort:

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Isn’t it wonderful that, as the decade ends, the fitba has evolved from battles on the pitch to clubs throwing shade at each other on Twitter? It’s a digital trend we can all get behind, unlike the sh*te that is VAR.

While a green glow hung over Edinburgh, Hearts Rant lived up to their name on Twitter by having a spectacular meltdown about every minor inconvenience the club had suffered over the year.

Thankfully, Matt was on hand to highlight the positives and lend a sympathetic ear:

Fast forward to Sunday and the Old Firm returned in style.

It was back to its best with red cards, penalty misses, crunching tackles all coming alongside a genuine title race. Rangers took the bragging rights, and the advantage in their quest for 55, with a 2-1 win at Parkhead.

Of course, with Alfredo Morelos being Alfredo Morelos, he got two bookings in quick succession to get sent off in the 94th minute. Never change, Alfredo:

Unfortunately – and despite having the Edinburgh, Glasgow, Lanarkshire, Dundee derbies all in the space of four days – Gerrard triumphantly headbutting the TV camera was the closest we came to a good old-fashioned bust up in the SPFL.

Thankfully, the SPFL is but the tip of the Scottish football iceberg and, down in the juniors, Petershill and Renfrew did their best to bring in the new year at HMP Barlinnie with what can only be described as a Royal Rumble in their West Region Championship clash:

A blunt and to the point tweet from the visitors summarised the events, however, it failed to mention that the “rammy” led to just the six red cards. To be fair to the players, they were probably four days deep into a festive bender and this was the quickest way back to the pub.

Fair play lads, fair play.

Of course, in football and in life, balance is key. With that being said, we follow all the week’s drama with a recap of the worst game in the history of Scottish football:

Brechin City and Albion Rovers sit 10th and 8th respectively in League Two, with a combined record of 29 wins from 134 games since the start of last season.

A quick look at the stats from Saturday’s game showed the teams had a combined 35 shots and still failed to score. My condolences to anyone who had to sit and endure that brutality.

So, just like that, the decade of Scottish football comes to an end. It’s been a blast and I can’t wait for the return of the ‘Roaring Twenties’ next week. Long live the fitba.

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