A shirt is for life, not just for Christmas: 9 kits you definitely didn’t want

It's a very important message, please take note.

“A shirt is for life, not just for Christmas!” is the, eh, heart-warming Christmas message from Paddy this year, and a quick look back through football history makes you wonder what the look on a loved one’s face was like when they ripped open these (mostly) un-Christmas Crackers.

MANCHESTER UNITED AWAY 1995-96

“You’ll never win anything with kids” proclaimed Alan Hansen in August 95 after the Red Devils were handed their heads at Villa Park. What “Jockey” should have said was “You’ll never win anything with kids whilst wearing a kit as bad as that.”

Fast forward to the Autumn of 1996 and United are getting hammered at The Dell against Southampton. Sir Alex Ferguson decides at half-time to ditch the grey shirt, claiming his players had trouble seeing each other. United eventually lost 6-3 and the shirt was never seen again.

SOUTHAMPTON – APRIL 13: Matthew Le Tissier of Southampton shoots at goal as Ryan Giggs of Manchester United makes a challenge during the FA Carling Premiership match between Southampton and Manchester United held on April 13, 1996 at The Dell, in Southampton, England. Southampton won the match 3-1. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)

BRIGHTON AND HOVE ALBION HOME 1989-91

Brighton remain (we think) to this day, the only club to design their shirt based on a supermarket carrier bag.

It was the summer of love and rumour has it that whilst doing a grocery shop at Tesco’s, Norman Cook, AKA Fat Boy Slim, decided that the blue and white stripes on the company’s shopping bags would look a treat on his hometown club’s new season kit.

If this wasn’t bad enough, the Seagulls then decided to go with NOBO as their shirt sponsor, modelled here by veteran striker, Clive Walker.

NORWICH CITY HOME 1992-93

The first season of the Premier League and a “Whole new ball game” is no consolation for Canaries fans, who spent the entire season strolling down to Carrow Road dressed like an egg and cress sandwich.

Jeremy Goss may have scored the club’s most famous goal in their win over Bayern Munich that year, but it’s that garish shirt that will live long in the memory.

NEWCASTLE UNITED HOME 1990-93

Do you remember when the Toon Army couldn’t go inside Marks and Sparks without setting off the security alarms?

This barcode effort was made even worse for Magpies fans, because Micky “Who ate all the pies” Quinn was also leading their forward line.

NEWCASTLE, UNITED KINGDOM – OCTOBER 10: Newcastle United player Robert Lee in action during a League Division One match between Newcastle United and Tranmere Rovers at St James’ Park on October 10, 1992 in Newcastle, England. (Photo by Stu Forster/Getty Images)

CHELSEA AWAY 1994-96

The Dandy’s on the Kings Road looked on in horror when Chelsea revealed their new away shirt ahead of the 1994 season.

Hats off to Glenn Hoddle however, who somehow managed to convince (without the help of Eileen Drewery) super cool Dutch superstar Ruud Gullit, to head to Stamford Bridge and turn out in this hideous creation on his club debut.

COVENTRY CITY HOME MID-1970s

Jimmy Hill was always a forward-thinking chairman during his time with Coventry City and when Admiral burst onto the kit scene in the mid 70’s, he embraced their innovative designs as they produced this classic kit.

The “marmite” of football shirts, Hill even broke new ground when he had shirt numbers put on the front.

10 February 2002: 2002 African Nations Cup, African Nations Cup Final, Cameroon v Senegal, (3-2 on penalties) Final, 26 March Stadium, Bamako, Mali. Lauren Etame Mayer celebrate their victory, Photo Credit: Gavin Barker/Touchline Photo

CAMEROON 2002

The Indomitable Lions shocked the football world when they produced a sleeveless jersey ahead of the 2002 African Cup of Nations.

If anyone reading this owns one, you could probably retire to your own Caribbean island with the sale proceeds, after the fun police at FIFA banned it from being worn at the World Cup in Japan/South Korea that same year.

HULL CITY 1992-94

The Humberside club took their nickname a step to far when they launched their new strip ahead of the 1992 season.

A kit that looked like it belonged on a cereal packet (you know the one) rather than Dean Windass, lasted a couple of years before being pulled, following reports that bounty hunters were stalking the terraces of the club’s old Boothferry Park ground.

Luis Suarez of Liverpool (Photo by AMA/Corbis via Getty Images)

LIVERPOOL 2013-14

Finally, rising like a phoenix from the flames is this effort from Liverpool.

Stevie G, wishing by now he’d signed for Chelsea, Luis Suarez and co will probably wince when they look back at the pre-season photo shoot.

We also managed to track down the only photograph still in existence, of Daniel Sturridge actually wearing a Liverpool shirt.

Get more tips, offers and news from Paddy Power

The latest football odds are on PaddyPower.com right now

THE PADDY POWER GUIDE TO SAFER GAMBLING – EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW