Led by Lederhosen: Thomas Tuchel’s England demands revealed

Thomas Tuchel has become the third overseas coach to take charge of the England men’s football team and Paddy Power News can exclusively reveal the main deal-breakers in a week of tough negotiations, that finally convinced the former Chelsea and Bayern Munich boss to replace Gareth Southgate in one of world football’s most difficult jobs.

Tuchel, who signed an 18-month contract with the Football Association, is understood to be delighted at his appointment and has already told close friends he’s looking forward to being eliminated in the 2026 World Cup quarter finals by France (or Spain, Germany, Argentina, Brazil…)

An FA insider however, explained how the German tactician made “several demands” which needed to be met, before signing on the dotted line.

The first topic for discussion was the team’s dress code. The M&S suits and matching waistcoats that defined Southgate’s era, will be replaced by Lederhosen, the traditional dress of Bavaria, the region in Germany where Tuchel was born.

We understand Tuchel contacted Three Lions skipper, and his former striker at Bayern Munich, Harry Kane, to convince the squad they could carry this off and would not look like a bunch of blokes coming home from a stag do at Oktoberfest.

Another bone of contention was the dressing room vibes. Tuchel is adamant traditional RnB pre-match tunes, which have been a staple of every England get together since the late 1990’s, will be replaced by anything from the Kaiser Chiefs, or failing that, Kraftwerk.

Man City full back Kyle Walker, who is currently in charge of the matchday sound system, has already expressed concerns that his international future may now hang in the balance.

Having been linked with a move to Old Trafford last summer, to replace Erik ten-Hag, Tuchel expressed concerns that Man United chiefs were unwilling to put sauerkraut on the menu in the Carrington canteen.

Despite their cabbage-related conundrum, United reportedly continued to send him WhatsApp messages to see if he might be interested in taking over from the Dutchman, if a compromise could be reached.

Paddy Power News understands the FA has now issued a restriction forbidding any United representative (excluding the club’s England players) coming within 10 miles of Tuchel and has demanded reassurances from the Old Trafford hierarchy that Kobbie Manoo, Harry Maguire and Marcus Rashford will not be used as intermediaries.