Exclusive: Full cast of McCarthy v Keane Saipan movie revealed

Ireland's second civil war, otherwise known as Saipan, is to be given the Hollywood treatment, and we've seen the cast list....

By / Football News / 4 months ago

Paddy Power News has been given an exclusive look at the cast list for a new movie, which focuses on Roy Keane and Mick McCarthy’s infamous bust-up ahead of the 2002 World Cup in Japan/South Korea.

With Steve Coogan set to play the role of “Big Mick” and Eanna Hardwicke that of the former Manchester United midfielder, a production insider gave us a sneak preview of the cast list for the movie’s other main protagonists in a drama that split the nation…

Ardal O’Hanlon as Steve “Stan” Staunton

The Father Ted legend was a shoo-in for the part of former Liverpool and Aston Villa full-back, who also used to sleep in full kit under a Republic of Ireland duvet.

O’Hanlon reportedly quit the BBC flagship show Death in Paradise when he got the call to do a Staunton screen-test and has spent months trying to master the Drogheda accent according to our insider.

They also confirmed a big white baseball cap and industrial quantities of suncream will be on-hand to help O’Hanlon get into the role.

Liam Neeson as Niall Quinn

“Just like the 2002 Republic squad, we needed an experienced head to lead the line,” we were told, and having spent the past few years running around Europe in search of missing people for the “Taken” franchise, Neeson fits the bill.

The bone-breaking action star even sat down with the former Manchester City and Sunderland frontman to get a view from inside the lanky striker’s disco pants on what really happened in Saipan 22 years ago, agreeing to go the extra-mile to get into Quinner’s character.

“Just like Quinny, Liam’s a true professional” claimed our source, “He’s even prepared to have a mullet hairdo just like the big man himself.”

CGI Richard Harris as Eamon Dunphy

“We needed a hellraiser to play the part of RTE’s Eamon Dunphy, but most of the current crop are taking part in Strictly, so we brought Richard Harris back to life using AI computer tech to play the role of the ex-Millwall ‘legend’ turned pundit and Rod Liddle scourge,” we were told.

With Ireland divided in two after Keane packed his bags, Dunphy, who was never afraid of courting controversy and ghostwrote Keane’s first autobiography, was firmly in the camp of the Cork native.

“Harris often went out for a drink with Oliver Reed,” our movie industry leaker said, “So picking a fight with Liam Brady and Johnny Giles on live TV would be no problem to him.”

David Jason as FAI Chief John Delaney

Stuck in the crossfire between the warring parties, there was only really one wheeler-dealer good enough to play the role of the Irish Football Federation boss John Delaney as he attempted to coax Keane back to the Far East.

“The original Del Boy playing an Irish Del Boy was the first thing we spoke about when casting. We’ve told him to bring the character of Derek Trotter – with an Irish twist – to the big screen for one last hurrah.

“Rather than selling VCRs that fell off the back of a lorry, this character will reach for a tray of cans when a deal needs to be worked out.

“Unfortunately, a slab of Dutch Gold was all the FAI could muster at short notice in Saipan and the deal fell apart.”

Lassie as Jason McAteer

The most famous dog on TV is sure to be a controversial choice to play the role of the former Liverpool midfielder, but there’s a clear logic to casting decision, we were informed.

“She’s got the flowing locks and she’s a natural at playing dumb. She also comes cheap and was willing to take the role of McAteer for two kilogram bags of kibble.

“And if her performance is well received, she’s also got a lucrative advertising contract lined up with Head & Shoulders.”

Sylvester Stallone as Shay Given

Ever since his memorable appearance as Robert Hatch in Escape to Victory, Sly has always had ambitions of donning the goalkeeping gloves just one more time.

Despite being 78 years of age, Stallone jumped at the chance of playing the former Newcastle United shot-stopper, we were told.

 

“We sent some old videos of Shay over to Florida so Sly could study his technique.

“David Beckham has also agreed to let him train with the Inter Miami squad. I’ve been told on good authority, that Rambo has lost none of his ability and could be lining out for the side next week as the MLS is so sh*te.”

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