Somewhere in a dystopian future, the reconstituted DNA of Phil Foden will bear down on goal about to score the the winner for Manchester Oilers against the newly formed, fan-owned Toffee FC, only for a 61-year-old Ashley Young to trip him up with his walking stick.
VAR decision: no foul.
AI-generated fans go crazy. The hologram referee blows the final whistle and ends the game 0-0. A painful journey back to their Mars training sphere in their flying luxury space coach for the test-tube grown Sky Blues, but it’s all cool as they’ll get to watch 492nd season of Love Island which now consists of identical robots that have been given perfect bodies but no brain capacity… which sounds just like Love Island in 2024, to be fair.
New clubs, new players, new world, but it’ll be the same old VAR mistakes.
Some might say Ashley Young deserved that bit of luck against Nottingham Forest considering a bird sh*t in his mouth on live TV.
That “some” certainly doesn’t include Forest owner Evangelos Marinakis who completely lost control, grabbed the Forest social admin’s phone, ranted like a fan channel from the club’s account and asked for the VAR audio to be made public.
Three extremely poor decisions – three penalties not given – which we simply cannot accept.
We warned the PGMOL that the VAR is a Luton fan before the game but they didn’t change him. Our patience has been tested multiple times.
NFFC will now consider its options.
— Nottingham Forest (@NFFC) April 21, 2024
Forest will explore all options, apparently.
We’ve news for Mr Marinakis. This isn’t a conspiracy against your club, VAR has been shocking for everybody.
Don’t believe us? Have a look below at the worst decisions video “assistance” has delivered in the last few seasons…
Chelsea’s Spanish defender #03 Marc Cucurella reacts during the English League Cup football match between Chelsea and AFC Wimbledon at Stamford Bridge, in London on August 30, 2023. (Photo by Daniel LEAL / AFP) / RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE. No use with unauthorized audio, video, data, fixture lists, club/league logos or ‘live’ services. Online in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No video emulation. Social media in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No use in betting publications, games or single club/league/player publications. / (Photo by DANIEL LEAL/AFP via Getty Images)
Angry Argentinian hair stylist
Spurs defender Cristian Romero was caught on camera pulling Chelsea’s Marc Cucurella by the hair. The fiery Argentinian probably wasn’t complimenting the Spaniards soft, bouncy curls. VAR checked it and nothing was given. Apparently, the rules of the game do not list hair pulling as a foul. Guess that’s that then.
VARcical Rating – 7/10
Wouldn’t expect anything less from Romero or VAR.
Andre Onana goes full WWE
On record, the United goalkeeper kept a clean sheet on his Premier League debut vs Wolves, but the reality is that at 1-0 up he came out to punch away a cross only to absolutely clatter into Sasa Kalajdzic. Onana connected with 0% of the ball and 100% of the player. Not that VAR saw anything wrong with that.
Hulk Hogan would be proud. VARcical Rating – 8/10
Pickford ends Van Dijk’s season
Everton’s Jordan Pickford morphed into Jackie Chan, going in high and hard on the Liverpool defender, but escaped any kind of punishment as the player was deemed as offside. Anywhere else on the pitch and that is a straight red card. In Hollywood, it’s the makings of a blockbuster movie, Again, VAR did nothing.
VARcical Rating – 7/10
Dangerously wild.
Arsenal denied key points in title race
Human error apparently. He forgot to check! WTF? Lee Mason was so busy checking the first phase of play in Brentford’s attack which led to their equaliser that he forgot to go on and check the crucial second part. Had he done so he would have seen Christian Norgaard was offside when setting up Ivan Toney. Insane to think Arsenal could have won the title, but Mason just forgot to look.
VARcical Rating – 9/10
Amateurish. To think Arsenal could’ve bottled the title a few weeks later instead.
Diaz ghost goal
Liverpool forward Diaz scores a fine goal against Spurs which was ruled out for offside by the ref. VAR looks at it and sees he’s on-side and the goal should stand. Except somebody in VAR says, “check complete” and to proceed with the on-field decision.
Oh dear.
It took the tech bloke managing the video to point out it was wrong rather than any of the officials, but by then it was too late. VAR’s worst ever moment.
So far.
VARcical Rating: 10/10
Well done boys, incredible process
*Paddy Power’s football coverage is pure fantasy – don’t believe it for a second.
READ MORE
- Shoot on over to Paddy Power News for the best Football Betting Tips & News
- Michael Edwards: Liverpool to follow ‘Man United model’ of hiring baldy Dutch bloke
- Lampard changes LinkedIn status to ‘Open to Work’ after Chelsea hammering
- Football Tips: Thommo’s got a 12/1 shot in his best bets for Liverpool, Everton & Chelsea
- Premier League Predictions: Lawro fancies Arsenal to falter but Man City to march on
- Crawley Town send scouts to watch Erling Haaland in Man City-Real Madrid clash
THE PADDY POWER GUIDE TO SAFER GAMBLING – EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW