Exclusive – Man set to receive Lynx Africa gift set for 20th Christmas running

A Dublin man looks a sure thing to receive a Lynx Africa set for Christmas, it has emerged.

After finding a cheap body spray and shower gel set under the tree for the past two decades, Harry Pitt has resigned himself to the fact that this year will be no different.

Your grandad laughing his tits off after you open another Lynx Africa when you asked for a PS5 pic.twitter.com/1Gs8fmPlIP

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) December 19, 2023

The uninspiring gifts have even led Harry to ponder whether he’ll bother getting out of bed at all this year.

‘I might just lie on until the dinner’, Harry told Paddy Power News.

‘A 3-pack of Primark Star Wars socks and a Lynx Africa set. Hardly worth getting out of bed for like’.

These disappointing experiences have left the 43-year-old with a rather grim outlook regarding the festive season.

‘Christmas? The same aul sh*te every year’.

‘Sitting in a cramped living room watching Home Alone for the 1000th time with all the people you try to avoid the other 364 days a year’.

‘Everyone wearing ridiculous jumpers and throwing Quality Street down their greedy necks while a Brussel sprout fart-cloud lingers in the atmosphere like a layer of smog’.

In a scathing attack on his loved ones for their perfunctory gifts, Harry ranted:

‘Christmas mornings used to be about mountain bikes and games consoles. But as soon as you hit your 30s, people stop putting any thought into it.

‘Lazy, unimaginative b*stards the lot of them’.

When asked what he got his friends and family for Christmas, Harry replied:

‘Amazon vouchers’.

Meanwhile, a Kildare man wearing threadbare boxer shorts is eagerly anticipating his annual supply of underwear.

27-year-old Mike Gooch managed to get through an entire year wearing the 3-pack of Pierre Cardin boxer shorts his mother bought him from Tescos last Christmas.

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However, with 5 days before the new batch arrives, the structural integrity of Mike’s current undergarments has been seriously compromised.

‘My balls are taking bungee jumping lessons through the crotch of these tattered trunks’, he told Paddy Power News.

‘By Christmas Eve I’ll be going commando’, he sobbed.

*Paddy Power’s news coverage is pure fantasy – don’t believe it for a second

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