Paddy’s last-minute Christmas shopping club tat guide

Paddy's hoping for a green snuggle this Christmas, but if you're stuck for something he's also got a few ideas from club shops too

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‘On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a Newcastle United bucket hat.

‘On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a chopping board based on the 1997 Nottingham Forest away kit…’

That’s right, ’tis the season and is there a better way to show that special someone just how much they mean to you than by giving them some bizarre football tat?

If they truly love the club then they’ll love the gift, no matter what it is.

Paddy’s scanned the club shops this year to pick out the perfect stock fillers if the people you love really appreciate a Bournemouth themed cheese grater…

Fulham – Antonee Robinson Mini-Me cushion

If you’re better half simply can’t get enough of the tough tackling American, they now have the perfect opportunity to snuggle up with him on these cold winter nights.

Arsenal – premium leather laptop bag

Perfect for the modern-day office worker. Nothing screams professionalism more than walking into that big meeting with an Arsenal logo on your bag. Forget the marketing presentation, the client is already convinced. It’s the leather bag that done it, pal.

Liverpool – Aftershave

People will ask, is it Emporio Armani? Hugo Boss? Paco Rabanne? No lad, it’s Liverpool club shop aftershave. Spray on, Spray on, with hope in your heart…

Chelsea – walkie talkie two pack set

Imagine owning this gift during the January transfer window. One of you leaves the room for three seconds and the other can radio through; “quick get back in here, we’ve just signed another player”.

Sheffield United – dog bowl

A dog is a man’s best friend, so when you suffer yet another defeat, the dog will suffer loyally by your side. Pedigree Chum has never been so embarrassing to eat, but as we say, dogs are loyal so will definitely love this gift.

Aston Villa – remote control Range Rover

Picture the scene: It’s September 2024, John McGinn stands in the tunnel at Villa Park waiting for a tiny electric Range Rover to drive out with a Champions League ball as his side prepare to kick-off their European adventure against Real Madrid… Okay, so maybe it’s fantasy, but if you have this Range Rover you can play out the scene with your cat standing in for the Villa captain.

West Ham – ball topiary

Get it for your West Ham supporting friend. It’ll make their house look nice and it is a darn sight easier to manage that an industrial bubble machine that they’ve probably been eying up.

*Paddy Power’s football coverage is pure fantasy – don’t believe it for a second

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