Fresh from a punditry stint on Monday Night Football, Wolves manager Gary O’Neil has been found mowing Saturday’s result against his former team into the grass at the Vitality Stadium.
The Cherries, second from bottom of the Premier League with just three points from nine games so far, sacked O’Neil at the end of last season to replace him with a sexier, flashier, altogether more Spanish model of manager despite his feat of keeping the south-coast side in the top-flight after a terrible start under Scott Parker.
BOURNEMOUTH, ENGLAND – APRIL 24: First Team Coach Gary O’Neill during the Sky Bet Championship match between AFC Bournemouth and Brentford at Vitality Stadium on April 24, 2021 in Bournemouth, England. Sporting stadiums around the UK remain under strict restrictions due to the Coronavirus Pandemic as Government social distancing laws prohibit fans inside venues resulting in games being played behind closed doors. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
However, the former Portsmouth midfielder, 41, looks to be having the last laugh, or at least a very prolonged early season chuckle, as his new side, Wolves, sit 12th in the league following a 2-1 victory away at his old side on Saturday afternoon.
And the spurned gaffer couldn’t resist having a dig – or mow – at the expense of his former side this afternoon, when he commandeered the ground staff’s ride-on lawnmower and emblazoned Saturday’s scoreline into the turf of his former club.
“Gary’s a very levelheaded guy, as everyone could see in his Monday Night Football appearance, but maybe being on TV went to his head and he just had to have one more swipe at Bournemouth,” a source close to the Vitality Stadium said.
“I mean, sure, you beat your old team that shafted you on their own ground with a team that was supposed to be doomed, and then they’re probably going to sack the guy who replaced you this week, and then you go on television and explain in minute detail how your plan to destroy them worked to perfection while being lauded by pundits, presenters and anyone else who’s bothered…” after which our source took a very deep breath before continuing:
“But sometimes that’s just not enough.”
Reports suggest the ex-Cherries gaffer gained access to his former’s team’s facilities on Tuesday afternoon amid rumours or Andoni Iraola’s departure.
“We were just delighted to see the old gaffer back – I mean, have you seen the f**king state of us this year?!” a security guard at the ground explained when asked about O’Neil’s brief horticulural return.
Then, according to reports, he told ground staff that he was making changes to the pitch that could help the players cover more ground quicker – by cutting the grass just that little bit shorter than it is already – before hoping on the John Deere X127 and ripping Saturday’s result into the ground with the blades.
“The pitch is in an awful way,” one source within the club said.
“There’s no way you can play football on it any time soon – fortunately we’ve not played much on it all season, so at least the games won’t be affected.”
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O’Neil’s victory lap comes despite many predictions of doom for his Wolves side this season.
He only arrived at the club deep into preseason following Julen Lopetegui’s abrupt exit after he discovered the “transfer kitty” he was promised in contract negotiations was in fact a cat that meows whenever the Sky Sports News theme played on the telly in the club office.
“Gary’s working wonders”, a Wolves exec explained. “If he keeps us up this season, next year we’ll just give him the youth team and cut all the wages and see how he does.”
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