Breaking: Man City and Newcastle awarded inaugural Gulf state FFP gong

There will be a special presentation before Manchester City’s clash with Newcastle at the Etihad tomorrow night after the Premier League clubs were announced as joint-winners of the inaugural Gulf state FFP awards.

Both clubs have been recognized by the Arabian peninsula’s football governing bodies for their stellar work in the fields of financial doping and sportswashing.

Managers Pep Guardiola and Eddie Howe will be presented with commemorative miniature golden oil drums by City owner Sheikh Mansour and Newcastle chairman Yasir Al-Rumayyan on the pitch before kick-off.

It’s understood the clubs fought off stiff competition from Paris St Germain and Chelsea to land the prestigious gong, with the latter runaway favourites for next year’s prize.

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‘He is a special person for all of us. He is so nice. He helped me a lot. We cannot replace him. We cannot’, a teary-eyed Guardiola told Paddy Power News with his arm draped around the neck of Manchester City’s lawyer.

‘Last season this club etched its name into the history books and set new records. 115 FFP charges is some feat’, added the Spaniard.

Meanwhile, Newcastle boss Howe dedicated the award to the Geordie fans.

NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE, ENGLAND – NOVEMBER 10: New Newcastle Head Coach Eddie Howe pictured with the club shirt at his unveiling press conference at St. James Park on November 10, 2021 in Newcastle upon Tyne, England. (Photo by Stu Forster/Getty Images)

‘Two years ago, Newcastle had Mike Ashley in the stands, Steve Bruce in the dugout and it looked like heading back to the Championship.

‘It would have been very easy for the fans to go and support Man City like lots of Chelsea supporters did.

‘But the Public Investment Fund came in and some of those Chelsea fans who turn-coated to City now want to be Newcastle fans.

‘That’s how far this club has come’.

In related news, former City and Newcastle midfielder Antoine Sibierski will be a guest of honour at tomorrow night’s game at the Etihad.

The Frenchman will be there to serve as a reminder to fans what will become of their clubs should they ever protest against the current ownership.

*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% nonsense, but you knew that already… didn’t you?

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