Arteta: “At least we didn’t bottle it as badly as Peterborough”

Looking on the bright side


Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta has been spotted in his local nightclub talking to anybody who will listen about Peterborough’s semi-final exit from the League One play-offs.

Despite having absolutely no affiliation with either Sheffield Wednesday or Peterborough, Paddy Power News understands the Spanish manager celebrated as if all his Christmases had come at once when Peterborough surrendered their 4-0 lead, taking the limelight away from his own side’s recent capitulation.

“He was going wild, it was almost as if Arsenal had won the title,” said one onlooker.

“He was dancing around alongside Edu, Chris Kiwomya and Mark Overmars, waffling on about Peterborough lacking fight and losing their bottle. It was weird,” confirmed the barman.

Since falling away in the Premier League title race despite being 8 points clear less than 6 weeks ago, Arteta has been guarded when speaking to the media.

However local reporters are under the impression this will no longer be the case now that Peterborough have re-written the rulebook around what ‘bottling it’ really means, with the Spanish manager championing every second of it.

“Mikel watched the game down his local pub, the Wheatsheaf, and was howling at the television when Sheffield Wednesday scored their winning penalty.

He was cracking jokes at the expense of Peterborough all night after it about how they need a spine and have no bottle. He seemed over the moon that the boot was on the other foot,” confirmed an anonymous source.

“After polishing off a bottle of red wine and a few shots, it seems him and the boys decided to go onto a club which is where the fun really began.

“Apparently, he was sending texts to Sir Alex Ferguson throughout the night, slagging off Darren and telling him he was always a B-Tech Wenger.

“If that wasn’t bad enough, I’ve been told he got a taxi to the TalkSport studio looking to slag off Adrian Durham,” continued the source.

With Arsenal giving City a run for their money for long parts of the season, rumours coming from within the Emirates claim Arteta will be hanging photos of Peterborough players around the training ground ahead of the 2023/24 season, to remind his players that no matter how much sh*t gets flung their way, not to beat themselves up too badly as the boys down at Posh deserve just a little bit more.

*Paddy Power’s football coverage is 100% fake news. Honest.


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