Man United v Everton: Casemiro hologram to start in midfield

Could do a job

Manchester United will break new ground this weekend when they field a hologram version of Casemiro in their starting XI against Everton at Old Trafford.

The human version of the Brazilian midfield dynamo still has one match of his four-game ban to serve and as the season enters its final furlong, boss Erik ten Hag has taken drastic measures.

Casemiro, Manchester United , 1-23

Paddy Power News sources in the north west spoke to an Old Trafford insider about this unprecedented move.

“The gaffer knows how important Casemiro is to this team. Without him pulling the strings they are basically s**t for 90 per-cent of the time.”

“He got the idea after going to see a hologram Abba gig at the Manchester Arena the other week so he asked some boffins from the city’s university to do their best.

“They have been working around the clock and fortunately for Manchester United fans, the early signs look positive.”

Another club insider told us:

“Ten Hag tried the system out for the first time in training this week and despite only running at half speed, he was still 100 times more effective than Fred and McTominay put together. This one will not need a half-time orange either.

Erik Ten Hag

“He’ll definitely partner Sabitzer in central midfield against Everton.”

The Red Devils are going toe to toe with Newcastle and Spurs to claim one of the final two Champions League places and have a crippling schedule coming up which will see them play almost every day until the end of the season.

“As we’re still fighting on three fronts, the boss is open to any ideas as to how to keep the team fresh,” they continued, “If this hologram business works out, he’s not ruled out bringing an AI version of Eric Cantona back for the FA Cup semi-final.”

Just before going to press, Paddy Power News picked up another world exclusive when we were told by a Carrington source that;

“Frank Lampard has been in touch too. He wants hologram versions of Chelsea’s entire 2012 Champions League winning squad for their end of season run-in.”

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