Following Liverpool’s devastating 7-1 win against Rangers in the Champions League, Egyptian forward Mo Salah is understood to be eyeing up a move to the Scottish Premier League (SPL) in the winter transfer window in a bid to prolong his world-class status for another twenty years.
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After coming off the bench to net a hat-trick inside six minutes against the second-best team in Scotland, lipreaders around the world believe they caught Mo on camera saying to Harvey Elliott:
“Lad, if I’m scoring three goals in six minutes without breaking a sweat against this pile of sh*t, imagine how many I’ll get against the likes of Kilmarnock and Dundee?
“I’m calling my agent after the game.”
Sources have also told Paddy Power News a bid is due to be made imminently from Celtic, who are believed to be willing to erect a statue of Salah outside of Celtic Park as a tribute to him for delivering their greatest European night in over 50 years.
“That boy Mo, he’s one of our own” screamed one excited Celtic fan.
“Yes, we’ve won the Scottish title 367 times and yes, we’ve won the Scottish cup every year since it began, but what Salah has given us is something our generation has never seen; European success.
“He scored three times against Rangers in the Champions League which is better than silverware. We were dancing in the streets of Glasgow all through the night.”
With rumours of a transfer request making its way to mainstream media, Mo Salah’s agent was left with no choice but to put out a statement in the early hours of the morning.
“While my client loves Liverpool, the club, the people, and has done his best to support their culture by donning a Scouse perm since his arrival, he basically wants to score 250 goals in a season and feels Scotland is the best place to achieve his dreams.
“At 30 years of age, my client understands he only has two years left at the top if he remains in England and knows Liverpool are proper sh*t these days too.
“However, if he goes to Scotland he will almost certainly be able to keep playing for another 20 or 30 years.”
The statement confirmed his client will sit down with Jurgen Klopp over the coming days to discuss an exit strategy, and while no official bid has been made just yet, we know there is interest from Inverness Caledonian Thistle, Peterhead and Stenhousemuir, as well as Celtic.
Meanwhile, former Liverpool captain and Rangers manager Steven Gerrard was spotted in the street after the game having a full-blown argument with himself.
Onlookers were stunned as the Liverpool legend was gleefully celebrating his side’s emphatic 7-1 victory, only to be brought close to tears moments later as he needed to mourn his side’s embarrassing 7-1 defeat. The Liverpool-Rangers-die-hard-hybrid refused to comment.
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is just complete nonsense, every word of it. Honest.
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