Manchester United forward Cristiano Ronaldo has chosen to extend his Portugal stay having been left so bewildered by Harry Maguire’s Manchester derby stepover, that he cannot face him in person.
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Paddy Power News can exclusively reveal that the five-time Ballon d’Or winner will spend a few more days topping up his tan in the Algarve sunshine in a bid to avoid any communication with his teammates, especially club captain Maguire, following their humiliating defeat to Man City.
Maguire with the stepover for the second City goal, and the flick for the third one.
He's been outstanding.
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“When I get back to Manchester not one of them will mention the horrific defeat, it’ll be ‘Cristiano did you see my trick, Cristiano what did you think of my sick skills?’, and I just haven’t got it in me to humour them any longer,” the 37-year-old told local reporters.
“I think it is better for my reputation if I fake an injury and get spotted hanging out with Lionel Messi and Neymar doing backflips from a multi-million-pound yacht owned by Qatar Sports Investments on matchday than remaining associated to my teammates any longer.
“I’m wondering if I could extend this Portugal break until the end of May?”
Despite Ronaldo’s criticism of the squad, Maguire remained upbeat about life in Manchester, suggesting the side are improving.
“You’ve got to remember we lost 5-0 to Liverpool, so 4-1 against City is definite progress. We showed great character to get a goal and restrict them to just the four.
“Plus, we’ve always got the old failsafe of a wholesome Twitter apology which goes a very long way in this day and age,” he explained.
“Football’s about how you react in the wake of a loss. We’re getting plenty of experience of that this season.
“And when I see my heartfelt apology hit the 100,000 retweets mark, that’s as good as a win.
“Social media apologies are in the DNA of this club.”
United will hope to get back on track against Tottenham next Saturday evening, with critics already saying it’ll be a frontrunner for Best Comedy at this year’s BAFTAs.
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